Took daughter out to eat this Fri to celebrate her getting into a magnet school and also my new job. We went to Red Robin. I had asked her where she wanted to go and she was not clear. Sounded like she wanted Chinese food but each place I suggested or looked up she was not really impressed with. Then she had no other suggestions. So I ultimately chose. I had a coupon for Red Robin. We enjoyed it quite a bit and plan to go back in the future.
I am rethinking the job I took.
I got my schedule for the next couple of weeks. Not liking it much. Not enough hours unless I agree to work weekends. Makes no sense to sell my house and move 1400 miles to be near my daughter, then take a job which prevents me from seeing her. In addition, my hours bounce all over the place, limiting time with my gf. The only saving grace is days off.
This would not be so bad but I took a considerable pay cut to accept this job. Mostly for the schedule. So the combination of not enough hours and low pay are not good. Toss in a crap schedule and I'm not impressed at all.
So, I am off tomorrow. Tonight and tomorrow I plan on getting my resume back out and accept job interviews again. See if I can find something with better schedule and pay. The one benefit I have with this job is that it gives me time to look for something better. Plus employers are screwy in that they are more likely to hire someone who is already working. I swear they're like bitches who go after married people. WTF? If someone else doesn't have you then you're not worth having or what?! Why don't they think of loyalty as a positive trait?
Oh, well. Need to finish my taxes this week too. I'm pretty sure I'll have to file for a payment plan with the IRS, which is why I haven't completed them.
I'm horny as hell. Not thinking of sex isn't working out. For once I saw a woman today I may have started a conversation with. Cute blonde, fair skin, nice smile. Not smiling at me. Not sure she noticed me at all. Though she did smile at the exact moment I passed by. However, daughter was with me. It was at the gym. Maybe I'll run into her some other time. Or not. Never saw her before and she was not working out, just using the massage chair.
No, I would not cheat behind my gf's back. Though I am tired of being basically celibate while in a relationship. And/or placing sensual limits on things we had discussed. It's disappointing and not pleasant. So what I would be likely to do is end the monogamy part of our agreement because even though I love her, it feels like I am leaving part of myself behind. It's one thing to be completely celibate by choice. Completely different to have limits imposed when the opposite was agreed to. I know if I did say I was going to see other women she may stop seeing me completely. But I'd rather be honest. It does always seem like there is some kind of obstruction, be it emotional, time or health. That many obstructions over a number of months eventually doesn't feel right at any level. My libido had increased tremendously, now it has almost stopped and that affects how I feel in general. Seriously doubt I could perform like I could a few months ago now. I now know I don't have ED at all. I hate the idea of multiple partners but I also hate the emotional/sensual balancing act. I love the affection between us. I love who she is without question.
Guess I have not reached any emotional resolution on this one way or another.
Only been to the gym once since starting the job. Today was the second time since then. Endurance was down a lot because of the lapse. Plan to go back in the morning and on Thur, again next Sun. Not this coming week but the next week I have work days where I will get off too late to see my gf, so I will go after work. Nothing to do with the woman I saw today, of course. If she is there on Sun afternoon, not likely she would be there late in the evening. Though that will probably be limited too because they have me leaving work at 8 PM one day and back at 9 or 10 AM the next day. Truly screwed up. So that's another mark against the job. It interferes with my efforts to get back in shape.
Have not been doing much writing lately. Not really sure why but of course adjusting to the job is part of it. Though I have not been able to focus well. Meh, that happens to me. I go for a while unable to focus and then lots of thoughts clarify in my head at once and it seems like I will never stop writing.
I am rethinking the job I took.
I got my schedule for the next couple of weeks. Not liking it much. Not enough hours unless I agree to work weekends. Makes no sense to sell my house and move 1400 miles to be near my daughter, then take a job which prevents me from seeing her. In addition, my hours bounce all over the place, limiting time with my gf. The only saving grace is days off.
This would not be so bad but I took a considerable pay cut to accept this job. Mostly for the schedule. So the combination of not enough hours and low pay are not good. Toss in a crap schedule and I'm not impressed at all.
So, I am off tomorrow. Tonight and tomorrow I plan on getting my resume back out and accept job interviews again. See if I can find something with better schedule and pay. The one benefit I have with this job is that it gives me time to look for something better. Plus employers are screwy in that they are more likely to hire someone who is already working. I swear they're like bitches who go after married people. WTF? If someone else doesn't have you then you're not worth having or what?! Why don't they think of loyalty as a positive trait?
Oh, well. Need to finish my taxes this week too. I'm pretty sure I'll have to file for a payment plan with the IRS, which is why I haven't completed them.
I'm horny as hell. Not thinking of sex isn't working out. For once I saw a woman today I may have started a conversation with. Cute blonde, fair skin, nice smile. Not smiling at me. Not sure she noticed me at all. Though she did smile at the exact moment I passed by. However, daughter was with me. It was at the gym. Maybe I'll run into her some other time. Or not. Never saw her before and she was not working out, just using the massage chair.
No, I would not cheat behind my gf's back. Though I am tired of being basically celibate while in a relationship. And/or placing sensual limits on things we had discussed. It's disappointing and not pleasant. So what I would be likely to do is end the monogamy part of our agreement because even though I love her, it feels like I am leaving part of myself behind. It's one thing to be completely celibate by choice. Completely different to have limits imposed when the opposite was agreed to. I know if I did say I was going to see other women she may stop seeing me completely. But I'd rather be honest. It does always seem like there is some kind of obstruction, be it emotional, time or health. That many obstructions over a number of months eventually doesn't feel right at any level. My libido had increased tremendously, now it has almost stopped and that affects how I feel in general. Seriously doubt I could perform like I could a few months ago now. I now know I don't have ED at all. I hate the idea of multiple partners but I also hate the emotional/sensual balancing act. I love the affection between us. I love who she is without question.
Guess I have not reached any emotional resolution on this one way or another.
Only been to the gym once since starting the job. Today was the second time since then. Endurance was down a lot because of the lapse. Plan to go back in the morning and on Thur, again next Sun. Not this coming week but the next week I have work days where I will get off too late to see my gf, so I will go after work. Nothing to do with the woman I saw today, of course. If she is there on Sun afternoon, not likely she would be there late in the evening. Though that will probably be limited too because they have me leaving work at 8 PM one day and back at 9 or 10 AM the next day. Truly screwed up. So that's another mark against the job. It interferes with my efforts to get back in shape.
Have not been doing much writing lately. Not really sure why but of course adjusting to the job is part of it. Though I have not been able to focus well. Meh, that happens to me. I go for a while unable to focus and then lots of thoughts clarify in my head at once and it seems like I will never stop writing.
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