Got the forms for the background check and filled them out. First time I recall ever having to get authorization for a background check notarized. Came home, scanned and emailed them.
This morning I ordered some items. Small spending spree, about $100. Mostly dietary supplements. Though I also ordered some more sex toys.
Not that I'm truly expecting to use them any time soon. She has been saying she is sleepy a lot. Think she got a minor concussion. In any case, that doesn't matter. We never have sex for 2 hours in a row. Or 2 days in a row. 2 times in a week hasn't happened for months. 2 consecutive weeks has become questionable.
I love her more than anything. I love sex with her more than anyone I have ever been with.
Am I selfish? Maybe. Am I demanding? Definitely. Am I obsessive? Yes. But none of that changes my desires, even needs. And the scarcity of sex has become an issue for me. Because I no longer believe it's going to change. It will continue the same cycle. Once every few weeks to keep me from seeking someone else. Then nothing for weeks again. The bag of toys in the closet will remain a bag of toys in the closet. I'll never see the leather mini skirt. The chains belong in storage. The only way I could change it would be if I made myself the bad guy, forced the issue, demanded more, was less understanding, caused a direct rift.
There are definite reasons I stayed celibate for so many years. Part of it is that I know myself. When I become sexually active, I am sexually active. Maybe it's an addiction. But it's one I either revel in and give myself over to or do without completely. There is no middle ground for me on this.
Oh, well.
Bought a couple of shirts. Just T-shirt type. My favorite style of shirt with Henley collars seem to have gone out of style. I don't GAF, I still like them. I think collars look stupid. They're useless. So I guess I'll have to learn how to sew more. Get some patterns and make my own shirts. Be a good skill, any way. Should be a fairly simple design to start off with.
Been changing routine again at the gym. Better to make occasional changes. Each muscle group reaches a plateau and the ones I've been stressing the most have done that. So I am changing the methods on some things. I can still reach gains with the different routine. Started doing more resistance with abs and that was a good choice. I'm actually seeing more definition. My chest, I change for a few weeks at a time building upper for weeks, lower for weeks. Seems to be working. Biceps have reached the point where I cannot even make myself sore there. I just reach muscle failure. Working on my legs more. Have to take that a bit gradually because I used to have knee problems on the right side. Need to work on my deltoids more.
Weather has been unpredictable. Can't get work done on the van because of it. May have to try tomorrow, any way.
This morning I ordered some items. Small spending spree, about $100. Mostly dietary supplements. Though I also ordered some more sex toys.
Not that I'm truly expecting to use them any time soon. She has been saying she is sleepy a lot. Think she got a minor concussion. In any case, that doesn't matter. We never have sex for 2 hours in a row. Or 2 days in a row. 2 times in a week hasn't happened for months. 2 consecutive weeks has become questionable.
I love her more than anything. I love sex with her more than anyone I have ever been with.
Am I selfish? Maybe. Am I demanding? Definitely. Am I obsessive? Yes. But none of that changes my desires, even needs. And the scarcity of sex has become an issue for me. Because I no longer believe it's going to change. It will continue the same cycle. Once every few weeks to keep me from seeking someone else. Then nothing for weeks again. The bag of toys in the closet will remain a bag of toys in the closet. I'll never see the leather mini skirt. The chains belong in storage. The only way I could change it would be if I made myself the bad guy, forced the issue, demanded more, was less understanding, caused a direct rift.
There are definite reasons I stayed celibate for so many years. Part of it is that I know myself. When I become sexually active, I am sexually active. Maybe it's an addiction. But it's one I either revel in and give myself over to or do without completely. There is no middle ground for me on this.
Oh, well.
Bought a couple of shirts. Just T-shirt type. My favorite style of shirt with Henley collars seem to have gone out of style. I don't GAF, I still like them. I think collars look stupid. They're useless. So I guess I'll have to learn how to sew more. Get some patterns and make my own shirts. Be a good skill, any way. Should be a fairly simple design to start off with.
Been changing routine again at the gym. Better to make occasional changes. Each muscle group reaches a plateau and the ones I've been stressing the most have done that. So I am changing the methods on some things. I can still reach gains with the different routine. Started doing more resistance with abs and that was a good choice. I'm actually seeing more definition. My chest, I change for a few weeks at a time building upper for weeks, lower for weeks. Seems to be working. Biceps have reached the point where I cannot even make myself sore there. I just reach muscle failure. Working on my legs more. Have to take that a bit gradually because I used to have knee problems on the right side. Need to work on my deltoids more.
Weather has been unpredictable. Can't get work done on the van because of it. May have to try tomorrow, any way.
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