Grouchy

I've been sick since Friday. Nothing severe, like a low level infection or virus. Been achy and tired. Intermittent cough but no congestion. Running my version of a fever. Getting headaches very easily under stress.

Worst part is that I have been really grouchy. 

I wasn't grouchy with daughter. We didn't do anything this weekend. I'll call that my fault for being so lazy.

The callers for work have made it worse. Lots of callers I cannot describe in any way but stupid. 

Hmm. Guess if I'm going to write that I should do so before I take my medication.

More improvement

Not long ago I wrote that my motivation has been really poor for some time. I considered giving up on cannabis, thinking that could be an aspect of it. Then figured out this had no real correlation. At least part of this problem began before I started on the program. 

That is changing and improving.

I still have a huge amount of work around here to do. The difference now is that it does not feel  like as much any more. Just last week, only thinking of how much I need to do was intimidating. Enough to wear me out and feel somewhat hopeless. (Not in general. Just about how much I need to do.) 

Started getting a few things at a time done. Cleared some space in the front room. Organized part of the living room better. Did that right after the holidays. That makes a difference. Then got motivated to start doing something about the bathroom. That made me do some work in the workshop, where I had a box of seldom used bathroom supplies. That made the workshop less difficult to maneuver. So easier to get more done in there. So, got a bit of that done this weekend. 

Washed and waxed the car today. Didn't come out as well as I hoped. I may need to get a carnauba wax based car polish. Still, I got it done. Should not sound like so much of an accomplishment but lately it kind of has been. Happy to see that changing. 

Positive things

Daughter asked (for the first time) me to pick her up this weekend, when it would normally be an off weekend for us. I was happy to do so. She gave some excuse about gardening or planting stuff for her room but so far has shown no interest in those things this weekend. Not sure what the truth is. She has not been forthcoming. I'm not pushing. In her own time. I did ask but got a non-answer. 

I took her to her very first political rally yesterday. It was for Bernie Sanders. In truth it was rather lame and disorganized. People standing by the road along Central at UNM, cheering for Bernie. However, she loved it. She wants to go to more. 

Bernie lost the caucus in Nevada. However, not by much. There have been a LOT of issues being reported regarding that caucus. Lines too long, working people being left out because of the time involved. Bad organization. Blatant misconduct by the Clinton campaign...

That's okay. Bernie is in nearly the same position Obama was in when he ran against Clinton. The next few weeks will tell the tale. The reactions we got from drivers seems to tell a lot more than what has been primaries in mostly white and affluent states. 

I pointed out to a few people that we got negative hand signals from some drivers. While we were flashing peace signs, the detractors flashed what can only be described as hate signs. We had children present with us. Most of those flashing hate signs were white men driving planet-killers. Usually alone and looked like they haven't been likely to have been laid without paying for it in at least a decade. But with us showing peace signs and them flashing hate signs, what does that say about them and the candidates they support? The answer is obvious.

So, this week I have been using arrow root. Yesterday I received the slippery elm bark capsules. Only taken that one twice so far. This morning I took only the elm power to see how it works. The arrow root has had a surprisingly positive effect. My gut has felt better this week than a long, long time. I am hoping it improves more over time, as my intestines have a chance to heal. Not having any pain any more, just a vague pressure. My energy IS coming back. Not sure how much of that is my guts as opposed to changing weather, which is getting warmer. Either way, I am happy. There is no question more healing needs to happen at the cellular level. Give that time.

I am considering getting different straight powdered substances and some empty capsules, mixing the powders and making my own medication. Cheaper and maybe more effective than anything I have used alone so far. 

New options

After the instance last night and finding out I could not, would not afford the medication the doctor prescribed, I looked for other options.

Ran across a few things. One was surprising. Arrow root. Some sources said taking arrow root mixed with water helps with ulcerative colitis. Tried it today and my digestive system felt better than it has in a long time. 

By reasoning and similarity, I also tried guar gum. Seemed to help but to know for sure I will have to try them on separate days. 

Ran across other references for "slippery elm bark" powder. Of course, first reference was on a site which sells the stuff. Looked up other references and they did concur that it helps for general abdominal/intestinal problems. Lots of good reviews on Amazon. So I ordered some capsules. 

Quite interesting that I am not all about "natural" or "organic" stuff but that seems to be what is helping me. Once the elm bark arrives, I will be taking any combination (adjust as required) of ephedrine (from ephedra flowers), Valerian Root (from a flower) , elm bark, arrow root (from a flower), guar gum (from a bean of same name), vitamin C (probably from fruit), apple cider vinegar or tablets and cannabis. 

To clarify, I am not against natural or organic, just not sold on so much I see about it. 

Bernie Sanders released a new ad last week which is the most powerful political ad I have seen in decades. While all these other candidates are talking about "us versus them", it makes no sense. In this country there is no "them", so it really boils down to "us versus us". In the middle of all of that, Bernie releases a video saying, "We stand together!" It nearly made me cry. Okay, it did. He says his campaign is about bringing people together. And he is doing exactly that. I feel more and more confident he will win. Long as people get out and vote! 

It seems like fate that things are changing. This weekend Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died. He was the most Conservative member of the court. That leaves a seat open while a Liberal President is in office. The GOP went insane immediately. They have vowed to not confirm a new Justice until next year. That would leave the Supreme Court out of action for a full year! Okay. Let them try and block it. What they will do in the process is prove how ineffective they are, how obstructionist, how much they are willing to let this country grind to a halt for their partisan politics. Which will further alienate any GOP voter who is not yet radicalized. 

Too expensive

Went to the doctor today. Two doctors, actually. One for the cannabis program, to renew my license. The other was the GI doctor. 

The GI doc called in a prescription. I went to pick it up but couldn't afford it. Insurance would only pay $50 of it. My part was $480 for a one month supply. 

I couldn't do it. I have the money for one month. But what if I have to keep taking it? That would be $3000 a year for one medication. 

I need to look that medication up. See what classification it is and if there are cheaper medications which may substitute. 

Good news. I've put on some weight. Up to 165 again. That's a really good thing. Though getting there has taken some fairly disgusting dietary habits. I have to eat an extraordinary amount of junk food. (It really is most packed with calories.) Pretty sure avoiding peppers and milk are helping a lot. They actually do physical damage to my intestines. 

Not much done today

I was rather lazy today. Not much done. I'll make up for it tomorrow. The weather is improving and days getting longer. So I feel like doing more now.

I did get some more seeds planted, got the well pump running. It has a leak. I caulked that. If it doesn't work, I may have to get it welded. Today I planted lettuce and cilantro.

Did not watch the GOP debate this evening but from recaps, almost sorry I didn't. My current nickname for them is the kklown car. They are into complete meltdown now. Dr Cartoon (Carson) was announced and was walking down the entrance hall when he just suddenly stopped. Several other candidates walked right past him when they were announced. A stage hand tried to wave him onto the stage but eventually gave up. He looked stoned even more than usual. This will be his last debate, I assume.

Rubio short-circuited like a robot, talking about President Obama over and over, repeating the same stump speech no less than three times. Never mind the fact that Obama is not running again. The speech was lame in the first place, talking about Obama wanting to turn this into another country. Right. By using ideas which have proven vastly successful in other countries because they are based on logic. What he really needs to say is he is quoting what his corporate masters told him to say.

Of course, the entire debate had no substance, just attacking each other and whomever, from what I have seen. 

Okay, going to get to bed soon. Did not feel so hot yesterday and lazy today. Getting some energy back. First thing tomorrow morning I need to make a to-do list and prioritize the day. 

Tax season

Got taxes completed. Getting back about $1200. Funny, my refunds used to be much larger. Oh, well. 

On the up side, I should be getting a bonus from work. Completely not sure how much it will be. The criteria have never been stated. 

Means I should be able to increase my savings. That amount has been either down or stagnant for the last year or so. 

Partial planting

Well, the weather was decent enough this weekend, I got out and tilled part of the garden. Moved the black plastic around to keep trying to kill off weeds and grass. 

Last evening, planted cold weather crops. Spinach, carrots and dill. This evening, need to track down seeds and plant lettuce, broccoli and cilantro. Luckily, all of these tend to grow well together. So it only takes up 2-3 rows, densely planted. 

Today is the slowest work day I have seen in over a year. Lots of the country is snowed in but not here. Because the areas snowed in are the areas which we receive the most calls from, not much happening. Talked my supervisor into letting me use the time for annual training. All power points. I had planned on using that for extra hours but that's okay. It's all done now. As of now, have not received a call for 20 minutes. Seems to me they would send me to written or start letting people off the rest of the day. Nope. Oh, well.

Good news on the political front! Last night at the Iowa caucuses, Bernie and Hillary were so close it had to be decided by coin toss! Hillary won that one but next up is New Hampshire, which is Bernie territory! I really think he is going to win this!

Not as good but very happy to say Trump lost to Cruz! I do not want Cruz to win but hoping it knocks Chump followers down a few pegs and shuts them the hell up! No question either of them will lose when having to actually discuss one single issue, rather than boast and bluster.