More concrete

Took daughter shopping for a few clothes yesterday. Been suggesting it several times this year. Then questioned her yesterday about her clothes because she was not changing on the weekend. Then she informed me she did not have any clothes here which fit her any more. That's when I insisted we go shopping and she agreed. Crap, I figured she was just being a teenager. 

We had a fairly lazy weekend. That will be different over the next few weekends. River of Lights, Twinkle Lights Parade.. 

Still slowly regaining energy. Getting things back in order one item at a time. So many things I looked at for so long, knew I needed to do something about it but just lacked the energy. Even if I had the mental motivation, the energy just wasn't there. Coming back around now. Not completely back to myself but better. 

Certain things my daughter told me this weekend sent up some warning flags. Like saying she sometimes hears voices when nobody is there. Not telling the ex about it yet. The way she described it makes it sound like it may be just her imagination run amok. Besides, she is at an age where these things can happen. The brain maturing, body chemistry changing. For most kids, it is the development from mostly spatial thought and memorization to the ability to grasp abstract thought. For her, it's different because she has had the ability for abstract thought for years. In a case like hers, the physical brain and chemical changes which take place can be a little less predictable. Still, something I will keep an eye on and keep asking her about. I told her repeatedly if this becomes an issue where it seems like she has any lack of control to speak to me or her mother immediately. She says right now she can make it stop. It does have me worried. I hope I am just overreacting.

More details

I finally managed to get up on the roof tonight and close up the top of the solarium some more. The taping part will have to be this weekend, since I need to be able to see better and the tape has to be applied while it's warmer. Even this evening, I had to take my work light up on the roof.

So, I am back to my prediction for the coming civil war. In a very real sense, it has begun. Not recognized by many as such just yet. Still far from the apex. 

I do not know how long this will last. I know it's not going to be short. However, I know a lot of how it is going to play out. It is going to be Conservatives against Liberals. That was a lot more diffuse before but forces are definitely coalescing into two major sides. When true hostilities begin, it will be (big surprise) the Conservatives who throws the first blow in the hopes of an effective sucker punch. That will fail because they are too out in the open, too ignorant to keep any of it quiet. It will be at numerous locations at once. In some cases, law enforcement will be waiting for them. In others, civilians will be waiting and ready. In the cases they have some success, that will be short lived. Conservatives are too arrogant and underestimate Liberals. They call us afraid because we are against violence. They have no understanding that this is a conscious choice. We are very capable of violence when it is necessary. They also have less understanding of technology. Anonymous will play a big role. They think their local law enforcement will be on their side but in many cases they will be wrong. In the few cases they are right, they neglect to factor in federal forces and laws. 

They have been falling and failing for some time. They lost on the "investigation" on Hillary Clinton. (Witch Hunt.) They lost the federal case on gay marriage. They lost going against Planned Parenthood. Yet they do not understand just how much farther they will fall. 

By the end of it, owning a gun will still be possible but significantly more difficult. Like, really, really hard. Millions of guns will be confiscated and the owners will never be allowed to legally buy a firearm again. 

Many, many non-violent criminals will be released from jail and prison to make room for the violent offenders. Many will be tried on hate crime criteria. As much as 10 percent of the population will be incarcerated in some way. At least being made to wear ankle devices to track their locations and keep them separated. 

Churches, synagogues and mosques will burn. Some will be closed by authorities. Legislation will change and increase restrictions on religious institutions. 

More posts

The racist and fearful rhetoric continues to escalate. However, from all I am seeing most Americans are against the fear. Still, it is necessary to attack that sentiment at the source. I refuse to allow people to wrap it in patriotism, Christianity and bravery. It is the exact opposite. They can keep their attitudes but I will NOT allow them to portray it as anything noble. 

Here is something I wrote today:

You cannot claim bravery while endorsing fear.
You cannot claim courage wile running away.
You cannot claim compassion while turning your back on innocent victims.
You cannot claim justice while abusing other humans.
You cannot claim honesty while telling outright lies.
You cannot claim intelligence while ignoring facts.
You cannot claim loyalty to a country while attacking it's citizens.
You cannot claim love while showing only hatred.
You cannot claim to be for equality while promoting inequality.
You cannot claim to be in favor of peace while endorsing conflict.

You cannot claim sanity while displaying paranoid schizophrenia.

Now, I am going to say my "friends" list on FB is growing shorter. The ones who have jumped ship are no surprise. Previously I have parted ways with those who spread hate. Now the ones who are running are the ones who promote fear and paranoia. Really, just a more passive way of spreading the same ideas. I have no tolerance for any of it. If it's their own lives, fine. When they use those ideas to destroy the lives of others, I draw the line. 

Still employed

Well, I still have my job. Of course, the whole thing is not over yet. Still not comfortable that the ax will not fall. Got another phone call about it today. Though the number of supervisors on the call was down to two instead of three. It also came across clearly that there were many people unhappy on Friday.

Actually, I think I was fairly vindicated on Friday. That same day, after my own events, I had calls from people who said they had been on hold for two hours. I don't really call that a very effective business model.

However, on the other hand, I did say in my email to the CEO that this program is showing very negative effects. Guess I will have to wait and see whether he is more dedicated to the truth or to an obviously failing program. 

First snow of the season today. Not heavy, pretty messy. 

My prediction about an American civil war still stands. In fact, it becomes more definite every day. However, things are leaning the correct direction. I see more and more people abandoning the increasingly radical right wing rhetoric. 

There was a terrorist attack in Paris this past weekend. Right wing assholes are screaming for war and not allowing Syrian refugees into this country. All anti-Islamic screaming. They close their ears to the fact that the people ISIL has killed most of are Muslims. They go against the entire basis of this country. 

So, I composed several posts to counteract them. That is, aside from the above. Here are the new posts:

I am an American.
I do not give in to paranoia.
I refuse to turn my back on people who have been victimized and terrorized.
I refuse to call anyone brave, tough or strong who will do that.
I refuse to recognize bigotry as valid.
I will not endorse hatred.
I do not believe hatred reflects strength.
I know hatred is a sign of weakness.
I do not believe violence solves all problems.
I will not consider it American, Christian or human to propagate hatred.
I will not let terrorists win. Including Americans who terrorize through negative behavior.
I do not think someone who is different is less important than I am.
I do not sacrifice others for my own selfishness.
I do not build walls. 
I build bridges. 
I do not kick those who are down. 
I offer them a hand up.
I do not place greed over compassion.
I do not close my eyes, my ears or my mind.
I am brave.
I am strong.
I do not hide.
I do not shudder.
I do not shrink.
I do not run.
I do not back down.
I am an American. 

What are you?


Right wing Regressives are the closest thing we have in this country to ISIL, based on values.
Bigoted
Xenophobic
Homophobic
Misogynistic
Theocratic
Hierarchic social structure
Propagate hatred
Pro gun rights above human rights.
Isolationist
Invade other countries based on superstition and lies.
Promote war before and instead of diplomacy.
Kill innocent civilians without a thought or regret.
Call all the above “patriotism” and “true faith” while the religion teaches the opposite.
Looked down on by true believers.
Against advanced education.
In favor of radical beliefs.
Uncivilized and barbaric.
In favor of closed borders.
Want to rule the world.

Basically, they are one and the same. The only differences are the name and weapon of choice.


Of course, I know it will have a limited impact. However, I hope to attack their professed patriotism and Christianity. Not because I have any urge to hurt them. Because I want them to see just how much they are causing harm to others. Because I want them to realize that what they think they are supporting is the exact opposite of what they are supporting in truth.

Not so much

Well, I did not get nearly as much done this weekend as I had wanted.

I did get out and fix the car door gasket which would not stay in place. 

Fixed part of the solarium covering to close it up for winter. Could not do the top section because it rained today and it has to be dry to get some of it done. What I did will keep it warmer, though.

Fixed the switch on the space heater. Though I will have to do more. The new switch works but is too wide, so it doesn't fit in the case. Only like 1-2 mm too large. Ugh! It's hooked up, though.

Dishes.

Set up the new computer for work. It arrived Friday and this one has two monitors. That will allow me to work written and phone cases concurrently. Long as it doesn't crash. That was a problem I had every time I tried working too many things at once with the old one. 

Lack of energy

Still haven't gotten moving yet. Lack of energy today so far. Not as bad as past episodes. I think part of it is just cold weather. I turned up the heaters a couple minutes ago. 

Could be other things, though. For one, I did not feel like cooking last night. So I went and got two hamburgers. Maybe the red meat was a bad idea. Plus all the damn dogs in the neighborhood started barking at 3:30 AM and woke me up. I had a hard time getting back to sleep and don't think I slept as well after that. 

Took all my vitamins a few minutes ago. Maybe that will help, along with the heat. 

I have a long list of things to do this weekend. More work on the solarium, the car, the house. Most has to be done during the day, so I will need to get going soon.

One thing I am going to start doing is studying hacking and the dark web. White hat hacking. Not going to go breaking laws. Just data mining for positive purposes. I found a number of links on an Anonymous page which give very good information which helps keep you safe while doing these things. I will be avoiding the overtly illegal pages on the dark web. To go there would be foolish. 

Power plays

Yesterday, I placed my job in danger. I doubt I have heard the last of this, one way or another.

When I began work, I was getting calls only related to the same program I have written negatively about previously. First few calls I thought little of it. However, into the second hour I had not received a single case which was not of that program. Sometimes with minutes between calls, which makes no sense on Fri morning, which is typically spastic. 

I IM'd my supervisor to ask if I had been removed from other programs. I figured it was some mistake or computer glitch. Ultimately she found it had been changed by another supervisor, higher up. I asked to have my other skill sets restored and was told no by the higher up. 

I got irate at that point and logged out. My supervisor finally talked me into logging back in with one other skill set (much faster and more organized) was restored. 

While I was logged out, I wrote an email to my supervisor and the CEO expressing my objection to the situation. I told them I objected to having my skills suspended with no prior inquiry or notification. I did also include my view of this program, with the opinion that it is having negative effects on the company as a whole.

Later, I received a call. From three supervisors at once. This was nothing short of an inquisition. I stayed pretty calm until one ot them started twisting my words. Then I did not get angry but very firmly corrected her. I had said I did not ask for anything unreasonable but to be informed of changes which affect me directly. She twisted that into, "Okay, we'll keep you informed of everything that's happening." (Of course, spoken in a derisive tone.) I responded, "That is not what I am asking and that would be ridiculous. I am not asking for micro-management, only that I be informed of changes which affect me directly." She said they could not contact everyone affected when it affects numerous people. I said there is always the option of mass email or posting an announcement on the front page of the website. Here is where I will note that this is an information technology company. There is no excuse for employees not being informed. I did not say this but the company has many options for alerting employees. Cell phone, home phone, company phone, IM, email, a running banner across the top of our work page and TWO company websites! After that, her response was more calm and somewhat cowed. "Well, yeah, I guess that could be done." Really? Ya think?!

I later got an IM which told me I was not the only one unhappy with the situation. A number of other clinical reviewers had expressed dissatisfaction with the whole thing. I just took it further than anyone else. 

One of the supervisors also was upset that I had included the CEO in the email I sent. They claimed I jumped my chain of command. I pointed out that I had already discussed it with my supervisor, who discussed it with the higher supervisor and no positive result came from it, only a flat answer. The only real thing they could come up with after that was that I used a term for the program which the CEO does not like. The program has two names, so I used one of the names which has been used numerous times and is most common in correspondence, so it was only a matter of semantics. Fine, if he doesn't like the one term, I will use the other. That has nothing to do with the issue. 

I rather hope that I do hear something back from the office of the CEO. Since I wrote about this program last, it has expended further. With tragic results. All queues across the board have exploded. Medical director (MD) queues are atrocious and the time frame for MD reviews are basically never met any more. I've seen cases waiting for a week, when it should take no longer than two business days. Fax queues have gotten so long they are begging people to do OT and were discussing mandatory OT this weekend. That did not happen, probably because they figured out it would not be legal. Even if legal, many people would be unable to comply and it would result in disciplinary actions, destruction of morale and loss of employees. Call times have been unreal, with callers telling me they had been holding or working on a case for as long as two hours! 

So, at this point, the callers are not happy. The members are not happy. The doctors offices are not happy. The clinical reviewers are not happy. The medical directors are not happy. The supervisors are working OT and some of them are about to blow an aneurysm. Yet we get emails talking about how successful this program is. When nobody is happy, there is no organization, things take much longer than they should and the risk of error is drastically increased, I really tend to wonder where they are seeing any success in this?! I have previously compared this program to removing a good tire from a car, replacing it with a flat tire and calling it successful because the engine starts!

Okay, I am waiting for it to warm up a few degrees, then get some things done. 

Oh, I got the new quartz heater yesterday and it really does seem to put out a decent amount of heat. Looks like a good investment!

More comfort measures

For the sake of winter comfort, I ordered a Quartz heater. They're allegedly very effective. This one puts out up to 5200 BTU but has lower settings for economy. I did order a factory refurbished unit but for an extra $5 it has a two year return policy. Allegedly it will heat up to 1500 sf. That is 1/3 of the house. So, at least the two living rooms. Have to wait and see. It should arrive on Saturday.

I am currently figuring on spacing out putting the polycarbonate on the solarium over months. It will take four panels per section, with four sections. I figure maybe one section per month.

Went and picked up the fire bricks and some vent pipes for the outdoor stove this evening. Now figure I will need a number more bags of concrete to finish the project. I still haven't figured out what to do about the ash door. Have to do some research. 

Comfort investments

Over the next year, I am going to invest in some more improvements for comfort.

Went out to close up the solarium. Some of the plastic has already torn. I admit, my fault for poor installation. It should last through this winter with some patching, though. Glad it's not dropping down too cold yet. The dog has remained comfortable with some innovations.

Over the next year, I will be building the previously mentioned heater in the solarium. In addition, I will be adding lighting and start gradually transitioning to clear polycarbonate panels. Fairly expensive but lasts. Very happy to say the price of those panels has actually decreased in the past couple of years. Still not going to be cheap. It will take a minimum of 22 panels to cover the whole top and some of the sides. Plus more cross beams to anchor them. However, it will be worth it in the long run.

Down side. I have to wait and find out what the ex and her husband are going to do. If they are going to move, there's not much point in doing these improvements. 

V For Vendetta

Well, I got the shed roof completed on Monday. Though I did get up there again today to add some more caulking to some gaps not filled in by the sealant. Sealant was too thin. 

This weekend I showed one of my favorite movies of all time to my daughter. "V For Vendetta". Had not shown it to her before because she was too young to understand it. As it was, I paused the movie a number of times so we could discuss parts of it. However, by the end she was as much of a fan(atic) of the movie as I am. I own very few movies on DVD but have had this one for 8-9 years.

I also introduced her in concept to the group, "Anonymous". That definitely got her attention. She got on my computer and started looking them up. She found a number of images, memes with various quotes. She liked what she saw. I also informed her I am joining in with this group.

As far as joining, that's a simple proposition. Follow and share their posts and become active in politics (Liberal politics only). I am considering going further than that but have no urge to wind up getting arrested. However, I am going to look into some security protocols and the dark web. Just skills to learn now, which may come in handy at some future point. 

Time change

The time change was today. I remembered the time change this morning but forgot about it in the afternoon. I was doing work outside and thought I had another hour to finish but it got dark. I think I do that every year.

I was going to set the base for the outside stove but forgot about something else I needed to do. Seal the roof of the shed. I got one coat of primer on and ran out of primer. Had to run to the store. Got back, caulked some gaps between panels, laid the second coat of primer. Took the dog for a walk while the second coat was drying. Got back and it was getting too dark to apply the final coat, the sealant. 

That's okay. Not supposed to rain for the next two days. I can get the sealant applied tomorrow. This is something I've needed to do for a while because the shed roof has been leaking.

Also doing this as a practice run. There's no doubt the roof of the house will eventually have to be re-done, so I wanted to do the shed first. This gives me a slight idea of what will be involved. Of course, the house roof will be a much larger and more involved job but I figure I can do it myself for around $400, as opposed to paying someone else thousands. It does go rather quickly. That estimate doe not include any wood which may have to be replaced. 

I do still need to close up the solarium. Going to take a little work because the dog chewed up the foam strips I took down in the spring. Oh, well. Glad I still have one foam panel left which I can cut up. Other than that, it should go quickly.