So, gf came over last night. I'm just going to say certain things have taken a much better turn. I feel a lot better, physically and emotionally. Less manic today.
It made me feel good that she fell asleep on the sofa for a short while early in the evening. I know how she is and she would not have fallen asleep here if she were not emotionally at ease with me. That's important to me.
The fact is, I have a need to be trusted and needed on multiple levels. It's when those things exist that I live up to them. It's when they lack that I lose the motivation to try. Been through it more than once where I put out the effort and it was moot. I can't put my emotions in and feel like I have never proven myself. It takes too much out of me.
Yes, I need to be needed sexually, too. Without it, a relationship lacks. I still find it an outward expression of internal emotions.
So, I feel more like that is much better. Maybe go the direction we had originally discussed.
Still waiting to hear back about the job offer. They said they're busy, probably overwhelmed because of the change from one company to this one. I have little doubt the old company suspended hiring for a while, so the new company is racing to catch up. Along with a lot of other things.
Oh, crap. I won't hear anything until next week, any way! Medical administrators from all the local prisons had to go out of town this week! I forgot about that. Oh, well. At least the background check can continue and I am guessing should be complete by now. Maybe I'll get word on Monday or Tuesday.
I want to get started working so I can save money to put a down payment on a house. I do want her to live with me. Someplace outside of town with some land for gardening, space and privacy, not to mention her animals. No idea what animals she may adopt after that! lol! I'm quite alright with that.
Signed up for several other groups on Meetup.com, mostly for bloggers and networking. I'll try that and see how it goes. The political groups aren't doing anything at all, even with midterms this year. Not sure AL has midterms but I think they do. I have to check further into that soon. If they are not doing anything, I will have to. Fucking sucks to move from another state and have to organize things. I wanted to sit back for a while and get involved more gradually. I suck at fundraising, good at organizing. In any case, I still want to expand my social reach a little. Hope to make some actual friends. Platonic, intelligent, rational friends.
I know. Good luck with that.
Oh, my little experiment does seem to be doing some good. Have not been having the same problems I had before. At least not for two days. Pelvic pain in the morning is decreased as well. Of course, two days is not long enough to tell for sure. The process is still painful but if it reduces pain and other problems, it's worth it.
It made me feel good that she fell asleep on the sofa for a short while early in the evening. I know how she is and she would not have fallen asleep here if she were not emotionally at ease with me. That's important to me.
The fact is, I have a need to be trusted and needed on multiple levels. It's when those things exist that I live up to them. It's when they lack that I lose the motivation to try. Been through it more than once where I put out the effort and it was moot. I can't put my emotions in and feel like I have never proven myself. It takes too much out of me.
Yes, I need to be needed sexually, too. Without it, a relationship lacks. I still find it an outward expression of internal emotions.
So, I feel more like that is much better. Maybe go the direction we had originally discussed.
Still waiting to hear back about the job offer. They said they're busy, probably overwhelmed because of the change from one company to this one. I have little doubt the old company suspended hiring for a while, so the new company is racing to catch up. Along with a lot of other things.
Oh, crap. I won't hear anything until next week, any way! Medical administrators from all the local prisons had to go out of town this week! I forgot about that. Oh, well. At least the background check can continue and I am guessing should be complete by now. Maybe I'll get word on Monday or Tuesday.
I want to get started working so I can save money to put a down payment on a house. I do want her to live with me. Someplace outside of town with some land for gardening, space and privacy, not to mention her animals. No idea what animals she may adopt after that! lol! I'm quite alright with that.
Signed up for several other groups on Meetup.com, mostly for bloggers and networking. I'll try that and see how it goes. The political groups aren't doing anything at all, even with midterms this year. Not sure AL has midterms but I think they do. I have to check further into that soon. If they are not doing anything, I will have to. Fucking sucks to move from another state and have to organize things. I wanted to sit back for a while and get involved more gradually. I suck at fundraising, good at organizing. In any case, I still want to expand my social reach a little. Hope to make some actual friends. Platonic, intelligent, rational friends.
I know. Good luck with that.
Oh, my little experiment does seem to be doing some good. Have not been having the same problems I had before. At least not for two days. Pelvic pain in the morning is decreased as well. Of course, two days is not long enough to tell for sure. The process is still painful but if it reduces pain and other problems, it's worth it.
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