Since my last post, I did not have that conversation. It's difficult because I do love her.
Though some of that plays right back into what I was saying in that post.
She has been changing somewhat gradually. Some things (BDSM) she has been suggesting and submitting to. That's a good thing.
Still, where communication and affection are concerned, there has been no change. She doesn't seem to notice that she interrupts or keeps right on speaking while I am silent 95% of the time. I'm still a nurse and caregiver more often than anything else. I don't mind the caring role at all, it's who I am. I just mind when it takes precedence over all else and I'm barely noticed. Affection? No, the phone gets more attention.
I've become emotionally frozen, flat. Waiting to see what else happens from here.
She has noticed I may not look at her while she is speaking. Rather than asking about it, she gestures with her hands in front of my face, which sets off my PTSD. I told her to stop doing it and she made excuses. Then continued doing it. I had to raise my hand to keep her hand away.
As far as the sensual part, she has become somewhat better but that's something which both of us enjoy, so it's not really anything about me.
I'll have to give it time.
Though some of that plays right back into what I was saying in that post.
She has been changing somewhat gradually. Some things (BDSM) she has been suggesting and submitting to. That's a good thing.
Still, where communication and affection are concerned, there has been no change. She doesn't seem to notice that she interrupts or keeps right on speaking while I am silent 95% of the time. I'm still a nurse and caregiver more often than anything else. I don't mind the caring role at all, it's who I am. I just mind when it takes precedence over all else and I'm barely noticed. Affection? No, the phone gets more attention.
I've become emotionally frozen, flat. Waiting to see what else happens from here.
She has noticed I may not look at her while she is speaking. Rather than asking about it, she gestures with her hands in front of my face, which sets off my PTSD. I told her to stop doing it and she made excuses. Then continued doing it. I had to raise my hand to keep her hand away.
As far as the sensual part, she has become somewhat better but that's something which both of us enjoy, so it's not really anything about me.
I'll have to give it time.
