Clarification

I wanted to clarify and reinforce something now that I have been on the medical cannabis program for a few weeks. 

My outlook on the subject has not changed. I have seen groups that basically worship this substance or think it makes them somehow "cool". It doesn't make you cool. It has uses but is not some miracle substance. 

I am seeing benefits from it. It has reduced my pain, some of which I was not even aware of. I am more aware now that it is reduced or gone. Inflammation is definitely reduced. For the first time in my life I can remember, my belly is flat below my belt line. Which had never happened before because I was carrying too much intestinal inflammation. 

Cannabis cannot be given all the credit. It's a combination of diet, exercise and other supplements along with it. 

I am using it more than I had planned on. Almost every night that daughter is not here. However, very small amounts. One gram still lasts me about 3-4 weeks. I take one bowl per night, if that much. I also probably have the smallest water bong in the state.  

Another surprise is that (now that I'm used to it) I am seeing more benefit with the slightly higher THC level along with the CDB in it. It helps me relax and sleep a lot more soundly. 

It is also helping with anxiety, though that had reduced from its high point, where I suffered what could only be described as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. However, I am not seeing myself using it around the clock. I have been known to suck on a "canna candy" during work on bad days like today. (Those give you no buzz at all but are good for stress. You would get more of a buzz from taking two shot glasses of beer.)

I am not basing any of my social interactions on it. Doesn't mean at some point it cannot be included as a means of loosening discussion but will not be the basis for any meeting with anyone. Unless it's to learn some growing techniques. Even then, I can get a book or look it up and the web. 

So, I guess I'm a really boring stoner.

Another bad day

Another bad day at work. Network crashes over and over. Huge number of seriously bad callers. Some were complete frauds, others were extraordinarily incompetent.

Talk about a health care crisis! Every day I am more convinced that the medical field is filled with charlatans and complete idiots.

Long day. Work for 8.5 hours, walked the dog for 0.5 hour, cut trees for 1.5 hours. Until the chain saw came apart. Think I can fix it. If not, have to get a new one this weekend. Never thought a chain saw would be a requirement in my life long term. 

I got all the branches cut down to size. Now it's a matter of cutting the trunks closer to the ground. Then I still have two more trees to cut close to the house. 

Still looks like I'll make it to Friday and keep my savings goal. Just barely but I'll make it. 

Enter

Something most people do not realize about me. I have a long history of resisting following orders unless there is good, rational reason for doing so. "Because I said so" worked with both my brothers but never for me. My mother could beat my ass and I wouldn't budge. Give me a reason in a few words and I was happy to do whatever. 

It's a cross between being highly logical and having a strong Irish side. Anyone who has ever spoken the words "You'd better" to me have witnessed a look that has made grown men crumple. 

I've been threatened by bosses, supervisors and various higher-ups in the military. Threats have never worked. Few words of reason and I'm fine. Give me something positive so I know I am trading what is known for some arbitrary change. Prove that you have considered the subject and the consequences for all parties concerned.

It's so bad that even now I resent using the "submit" icon on a computer. What the heck is wrong with just using "enter"?!

I am the kind of person that if someone held a gun to my head and told me to get on my knees, if it affected nobody but myself, I would tell them to pull the trigger. 

Funny thing. I've known people that understood this about me almost from the moment they met me. Others have learned it very quickly. Yet I have also spent years around people who never understood. They just continued to use threats and manipulations. Like they had a gun to my head, I basically let them pull the trigger, over and over. 

I'm still standing.

The new chain for the chain saw came in. Rather late. The mail seems to be arriving later every day. Got most of the rest of the branches cut down. Get the rest tomorrow. Just got too dark to be using a chain saw. I have a humongous pile of stuff to go through the wood chipper but also a huge pile of firewood. I still have some wood I never cut into smaller pieces from a couple of years ago. Cutting that up last, so it winds up on the top of the pile. That wood is well dried and seasoned. Can take two years for wood to completely dry. The wood cut now will burn this coming winter but may put out a lot of smoke and soot. 

Think I'll put off the gym until Wed this week. Make sure my muscles have fully recovered plus get the branches dealt with. Maybe fix the compost tumbler and apply treatment to the tree stumps, also.

Tired and sore

Did not get nearly as much done this weekend as I had hoped. However, I did get a respectable amount done.

Got more than half of the trees cut down to pieces. Had to stop because the chain on the saw was too dull. Have to wait until the new chain comes in to finish. Still, that was the longest task of the day. 

Sprayed more acid and ammonia in the main garden. Stronger solution. The one I sprayed yesterday made minimal impact, not the outright black I was looking for. Lots of weeds I had sprayed were still alive today, so no hope it would have an impact on seeds. Dead grass was barely perceptibly browned. 

Got the last cables in the mail, so I mounted the final two outdoor cameras, one for the back yard and one for the front door. Moved the monitor setup to where it can be connected to the internet. I still have to mount the two indoor cameras in their final position and connect the whole system to internet for off-site, email and SMS alerts. 

I built the compost tumbler. However, I admit the stand collapsed almost immediately. The cross beams I used were too weak. Didn't think they would need to be that strong but I was mistaken. It will take only a few minutes to repair but I was too hot and tired to do it by that time. The tumbler should do well, though. Put food stuffs, chipped wood and finished compost in it as a starter, plus some water and ammonia for nitrogen. I got the height just right 

Planted some more flower seeds and some blueberry cuttings. 

Okay, need to take my nighttime medicine, have a bath and get to bed.

Too far

I have reached my limit with these Conservative, right wing idiots.

At this point, 19 states have passed what they call "religious freedom" legislation. Basically this is legal backing for discrimination. Businesses in those states have the right to refuse service to anyone based on their own religious beliefs. The biggest target is the LGBT community and same sex marriages. This means someone can refuse to photograph or serve a same sex couple. Though based on the wording it does not have to be a marriage. A same sex couple can simply walk into a restaurant together and be denied service.

WTF is wrong with this country?!!

Crap, I'm straight and so completely against this legalization of hate crimes that it makes me sick.

Wikipedia defines a hate crime as "Hate crime laws in the United States protect against hate crimes (also known as bias crimes) motivated by enmity or animus against a protected class. Although state laws vary, current statutes permit federal prosecution of hate crimes committed on the basis of a person's protected characteristics of race, religion, ethnicity, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, and disability."

With this definition, these very laws are crimes. It is a federal crime to refuse service or employment based on the exact same definition as those listed as victims of hate crimes! 

Based on this, I think the politicians passing these laws, along with anyone who pleads protection against discrimination should be charged as criminals. And not on some misdemeanor charge, either.

Instead, they should be charged with terrorism, conspiring to commit a criminal act and treason. One does not have to physically engage in violence to be charge with these crimes. They have put in place the conditions which enable criminal activity and rioting. All it takes is one riot anywhere in this country and every single politician that voted these acts into law can be charged with inciting a riot. By legal definition, this only requires a physical conflict involving three people. 

Considering the fact that this places the public welfare at risk, this brings in the terrorism charge. Considering that public unrest is dangerous to the security of this country, that brings in the treason charge. 

So, do these laws protect everyone who refuses service or employment and claim it is against their religion? 
Can a Jewish, Islamic, Wiccan or Satanist refuse service or employment to anyone openly Christian?
Can the same business refuse to employ or give service to a person based on their race and claim it is against their religion?
How about gender?  
Can they refuse service to anyone physically deformed or developmentally disabled? 
Some religions believe that mental illness is a judgement from God. So, can someone suffering mental illness be denied service or employment? Then define mental illness. Does depression or bipolar disorder count? How about ADD?

I am going to copy this later and send it to the President and the ACLU, the NAACP and several women's rights groups. This may start as one thing targeting one group but is milliseconds from being turned into something much, much larger, taking this country backward by decades, if not centuries. 

Legs better

My legs feel much better this morning. My feet are still a bit sore from toe raises during workouts for my calves. I can deal with that, though. 

I'm guessing I will never have a true washboard stomach appearance. Only a little bit. Something I suspected turns out to be true. Washboard or 6 pack abs come less from abdominal muscle fitness and more from low body fat. Like 5-7 percent. Yeah, I don't even want to get down that low. Too dangerous for me.

What I did know is that, in addition to low body fat, bodybuilders get "cut" before shows and competitions. Which means removing as much fluid from their body as they can without passing out. It's not that uncommon for them to pass out if they go too far. In the past, some have actually suffered kidney damage because of this practice. Even without the lasting health risks, I'll pass on that. I know what it feels like to be dehydrated and I'm not entering any competitions. 

And I take it back. Legs still hurt. I just hadn't walked enough to realize it until a moment ago. Everything from my waist down is sore because I severely worked my lower abdomen, lower back, thighs, calves and feet the other day. Not as sore as yesterday, though. 

On the up side of that, I will say my legs had become rather thin for a while and I didn't like it. They're building up now. I've seen guys who had huge upper bodies but no leg strength and it looks ridiculous. Aside from not making any sense, unless there is some medical issue involved. 

I'm just waiting for the outside temperature to warm up a little before getting some things done. While I drink some coffee and wait for Ibuprofen to kick in. 

One thing I have learned about nursery plants. When you buy the live ones in packages, they always tell you to soak them in water and remove the packing material. I don't do that. I look for plants that have active growth. If they have active growth, there's nothing in the packing which is making the plant dormant. It's typically potting soil, seed starting mix or sawdust. It isn't going to hurt the plant. While forcing the roots to spread out can do damage. I plant the whole thing in a pot with potting soil and let the roots spread out on their own. That may or may not make them mature a bit slower but it's successful. I tried the practice on the instructions before and had bad results. 

Okay, lots of things to do today. Mostly more cutting branches down to size but no shortage of work on other things. 

Only a little bit

Got a little done today but fighting against my legs wore me out quickly. 

Went out and cut a lot of branches and trunks, separated them by size. Took a break. When I went to go continue, the neighbors had started their party. So I deferred the rest of that until tomorrow. 

I should be able to complete cutting most pf the branches down in a couple of hours tomorrow. That doesn't include running thinner branches through the chipper, which will be a separate project. Have to wait until the branches dry out a bit and lose their seed pods. 

I got out and sprayed the main garden with a very strong ammonia and acid solution. Couple of advantages to that. With the grass dry and brown, I will be able to see where I sprayed it. Since I haven't tilled or been watering, I'm hoping it will desiccate any seeds which may be remaining. Have to spray the area around the trees after I get the branches cut down.

Had to go to the store for a few things. Went through the garden section, picked up another green seedless grape vine and two more blueberry plants. The blueberries were in a package deal, 2 for 10 dollars. I think one is a strain I don't have yet and one is the same as one of my existing plants. Got all three planted in soil. 

Going to take more cuttings from different plants tomorrow. It's a goal to have a whole row of blueberry bushes and fences covered with grape vines. 

Good part is that the soreness in my legs has pretty much passed. Hopefully it will be gone tomorrow. 

Late to rise

Got up late this morning, at 10 AM. Went to karaoke last night, got home around MN and didn't fall asleep until around 2. 

So, I probably won't be getting quite as much done today as I had counted on. That's okay. 

Going to take a split plan of attack, part inside and part outside. My original thought was to do all outside today and almost all inside tomorrow. Then the next door neighbors came by and said they're having a party for a kid's birthday this afternoon. Since so much involves a chain saw, I'll be polite and stop the chain saw once the party starts. 

Maybe that's better. I don't want to get too sunburned. 

Somewhere in there I want to remove the bike tire and build the compost tumbler, also. I did some reading and there are some things I didn't think about for the design. Like air holes. On consideration, I want to place those so the liquid doesn't drain out. However, at some point I do want to install a drain, so I can drain liquid (compost tea) into a bucket to use for spot fertilizing. I'm torn on whether to place the tumbler in full sun or partial shade. Resources do not agree. Guess I'll just have to try full sun first and then partial shade. I'm making it low to the ground, with the barrel only a few inches off the ground, to make it easier to handle, load and unload. And so it takes less wood. 

One thing slowing me down today is my changed workout. My legs are seriously sore. Seems higher reps and lower weights are harder on me than high weights are. Not too much surprise. The difference develops different muscle fibers. I've always had more slow twitch fibers (for lifting heavy weight) than fast twitch (for rapid movement). Though while both are important, slow fibers help fast fibers but fast fibers do not help slow fibers. Think about the fact that weight lifters can often run but runners cannot necessarily lift heavy weights. And when coaches try to increase a runner's speed, they advise weight training. Not often a weight training coach tells a lifter to run. 

Okay, need to stop writing and start doing.

Friday!!!!

I am so damn glad this week is over!!!!

This has been a horrible week. I have dealt with more dumbasses than I can ever recall. At least since working in convenience stores. Even then, most of them were more polite. However, that was years ago, in Texas and they had to face me in person. 

I'm not alone. My supervisor assured me it has been pandemic. Stupidity and aggressive behavior have been seriously rampant this week. 

Even the damn dog has been needful. Though that's not a huge surprise. This is the first time the dog has been alone in his life, without another dog to keep him company. But he has been drastically whiny all week. I'm about to start slipping him some cannabis pretty soon to calm his ass down. Not really but the thought has crossed my mind. 

I've been taking him for a walk every evening after work. Right now I'm taking a break before walking him. I'm emotionally exhausted from dealing with idiots and morons. 

It's actually not a bad thing daughter will not be here this weekend. I need some time off to get some things done without having to take someone else into account. I love her but constant responsibility can drag on you at times when it never stops. I don't mind working on things. I'm a workaholic. However, it helps to get things done without being pressed for time once in a while. 

The house is a mess. Going to get a little cleaning done but going to karaoke later. Think I'll put some serious energy into a few songs tonight. Just get most of the work done over the weekend.

On the up side, I have turned my finances around a lot in the last year. Instead of living primarily paycheck to paycheck, I have been making a savings plan for each paycheck. Cannot say I always reach my goal but usually come close. This time, it looks like I will reach that goal and that marks a landmark which I have been striving for. Only a temporary landmark on the way to further landmarks.  

More workout changes

While I am seeing definite progress from my workout program, I still made some changes. For one thing, I don't want to get bored. For another, just responding to my body, both positive and negative.

I have been having shoulder pain. My approach is not to avoid stress on my shoulders but to change the stress a bit. For now, lower weights, higher reps and exercises which target the least developed parts of my shoulders. Seems to be fairly effective. Though I have pain, it's not like it used to be. I don't feel like crying, not waking in the middle of the night and my arm isn't frozen at times. 

I have added very visible inches to my chest, shoulders, arms and legs. Meanwhile I have lost weight in the middle. Not much. Though I may be adding muscle mass there, too. In any case, while my weight remains stable where it was, the distribution has radically changed. Very possible, even likely that I am also forming additional blood cells. That's natural when you add muscle mass because it takes additional blood cells to supply the extra muscle.

It's helping in practical ways. Not sure if I could have moved some of the limbs and branches I have moved recently, had I been doing this a few months ago. Probably could have because I would find an alternative method. The only real problem I've had lifting them has been because they're awkward, not because of the weight. 

My chest is a lot closer to where I want. Abdomen not quite as close. Changed my exercise for that again. Doing inclined crossover crunches to try and get my sides thinned a little.

So, daughter won't be here this weekend. I'm over the surprise aspect. Going to pick her up next Thur evening for Easter weekend. I'll still miss her but I have a lot of things to do around here, so I'll remain occupied. 

Lots of work

Getting the yard in shape this year is turning into a lot more work than I had anticipated.

Got the trees along the back fence cut down again yesterday. However, bringing a tree down is the easy part. Then it has to be cut into smaller pieces that can be handled in some way. 

When I cut them, a number had to be brought down over the fence into the parking lot of the dance studio. Had to go over and drag them to my yard this evening. Then had to start cutting things down to size. Reached a point where the smaller pieces were too numerous and getting in the way. So, had to divert energy to start running the smaller branches through the wood chipper. 

Then comes another problem. The chain on the chain saw is getting dull. Not a surprise. I bought this chain in 2012, so it's actually coming on 4 years of use, including initially cutting the trees down, if I recall correctly. (Probably. I bought it in 02/2012.) I'm impressed, though. The first chain didn't last nearly as long. I ordered another one this evening. This chain will cut for the time being, just not as quickly. 

I have to get the trunks and branches out of the way soon. I can't even get to the main trunks to drill holes to insert something to kill off the trees and keep them from coming back. 

More work coming up. I need to take the wheels off the bike and have new valve stems installed. May as well get those and the spare for the car done all at once. 

Big changes

Some really big changes going on.

I wrote about daughter wanting to change our schedule. Took me a day or so to adjust to that. 

Then got an email from the ex. Seems her husband's job will be closing sometime this year. They're nervous, I can tell. Wondering if they will have to move out of state for him to have a good job. I know the feeling. Been there too many times. They haven't been there nearly so many times. They've had a much more stable existence than I have. (Just not my karma.) I made some suggestions. Hope they don't take them as arrogance or thinking I am more intelligent than they are. It's not that. I just know what it feels like to be blindsided and have your life, your future thrown into doubt. Your thoughts and emotions can be cloudy and you overreact.

It's fine if they want to move out of state. I just don't want them to make a snap decision based on anxiety. It wouldn't be easy but I can pick up and move basically anywhere and keep the same job. Long as I have a high speed internet connection, I'm employed. For them, his family is all here and he is close to them. He has never lived at a distance from his family. I think the extended family situation has become very important to all of them, including daughter. 

To me, the idea of leaving New Mexico? Do I have to say it?!

On the job, I got word I'm moving up the ranks. I am now a resource person for people on multiple special programs. Not a supervisor but moving closer to that role. I could probably apply and get that position any time but think I'll wait a while, especially in light of current events. Plus it builds my resume to be place in increasing levels of responsibility. 

I got the trees along the back fence cut way back this evening. Amazing how fast they grew back after I cut them two years ago. They were coming in contact with the power lines and had to go. Besides, the larger they get, the more they interfere with the fruit trees I'm trying to grow. I still have to drill holes and deposit different chemicals to try and kill them off. 

Punched in the gut

Got an emotional punch in the gut this weekend. Just as I dropped daughter off at her mother's, she asked if I could pick her up every other weekend instead of every weekend.

I understand. She's getting older and more social. She wants to hang out with her girlfriends, who live in that section of town. She doesn't have a lot of time to spend with them except lunch and recess at school. 

This day was bound to come. I had figured it would happen a couple years later than this, though. However, it's not dating. Just going to movies and hanging out with her friends.

I am happy she is becoming more social. I don't want the less social, anti-social, agoraphobic side of me to have a bad influence on her life. I want her to have a normal existence with no fear or apprehension of socializing. 

Understanding and all of that doesn't make it suck less, though. 

Tree trimming

Daughter and I went to get my eyes checked. Then out to eat. Then came home.

We did some work outside. She was building some kind of shade structure out of old branches (first with wood). Inspired by pictures of the living root bridges in India. 

Meanwhile I was pulling weeds and trimming branches. The ones she was using for her structure and more. 

Tonight she is trying to sleep in her room for the first time in years here. I'm nervous about it. Not about anything actually bad happening, just that either she can't sleep or that she has nightmares. 

Lessons, mistakes and failures

Well, the dog made it through his first night with no balls. He managed to get the cone off but hasn't been chewing at his stitches. The incision site looks good. I've cleaned it a few times with antibacterial soap. He's kind of moaning. Not sure if that's pain or loneliness, since his buddy is no longer here. Once his stitches are healed and I can give him a bath, I'll start letting him in the house. Tentatively. That all depends on if daughter has allergies to him but he's not like the other dog we once had in the house, who reeked and stank up the whole house even though he was fixed. That dog also destroyed everything he came in contact with. I still have holes in curtains as a reminder. 

There are times I feel bad about my history with animals and feel like I should have tried harder. However, I will say that through much of that time my resources were very limited and more effort would have meant time or money which I did not have. If I had the money, I was working too much. In general, I didn't have the money. Still, some cases things happened which I could not control or did not know what the true problem was. Like learning that some small animals have probably died from eating poisonous flowers. I had no idea. In one case, the dog was killing other animals, including other dogs smaller than her and kept getting out. Could not handle seeing her kill another puppy and could not take the risk of her injuring a person or another neighbor's small dog. Animal control picked her up once, she escaped and came back here. If she got out and was caught again I would have had huge legal problems and the bills that come with them. 

Maybe now that I have the money and am building a much more robust fence we can have some smaller animals, also. I still have the feral cat problem, though. For that, I don't have many options but to install an electric fence and cut trees to avoid them getting access. It's not easy figuring out all the possible entry points a cat can get through but I think I know most of them. Much harder to control the movements of cats than dogs.

I know my past history with animals has affected my daughter. She loves animals and I have disappointed her on numerous occasions on that point now. She understands intellectually but mostly hides the emotional effects, though I well know they are there. She's not the crying type. Sometimes I wish she was. Makes me worry how much she holds inside. I feel better now that she's writing. That offers a release, even if it becomes an abstract at times. 

Most people abstract their emotions in some way. I always had to face mine head on, never could divert my emotions well. If I did not meet them head on, they remained until I did so, no matter how much energy I diverted elsewhere. Does not mean a confrontation is required, just some level of understanding. If not understanding, I at least have to express my emotions and then I am able to accept my pain and move past it. Learn the concept and leave the lesson behind. 

None of this detracts from the fact that I have had failures in the past. I do like to think I did the best I could within my internal and external resources at the time. There was never any intention to do bad or any apathy. I can only think of two intentionally bad things I have done in my life. One was in 1980 and the other in 1993 and both were warranted in some way but I may have taken them further than necessary in the moment. (In each case, the person involved learned nothing from it and became worse afterward. The point being that they were seeking rationales to act worse, never better. So in retrospect, perhaps I actually did not go far enough in spite of my own emotional guilt.)

Only thing anyone can do is try to learn from past mistakes and not make them again. Forgive the mistakes of others. That may not be possible at times but don't linger or obsess on the past. 

Okay, more mundane stuff. I need to get a new eye exam. Get some computer glasses. I stepped on my glasses a couple of weeks ago while fishing with daughter. Luckily, the uncorrected lens was the only one that popped out and got damaged. I have vision insurance which pays for an eye exam each year. Time to do that.

Unhappy doggy

Went and got the dog after work. Got the usual judgmental attitude from the people at the shelter.

When the hell did dogs stop being dogs and start being more than animals?!!

Of course, he's very unhappy. I have to keep a cone collar on him for a few days so he doesn't bite at his stitches. 

They said he had a scrotal infection before the surgery. That was one of the reasons I got an attitude from the shelter people. Because he wasn't showing any signs of pain and I wasn't checking my dog's nuts on a daily basis.

Fucking really?!! Who the fucking hell checks their dogs nuts every day?!!!! 

No karaoke tonight. Have to stay home and make sure he keeps the cone on as long as possible. 

Here's an odd one. The people at the shelter said he was aggressive with them. I have never seen him aggressive except in self defense and even then it took quite a bit to push him that far. 

When I picked him up, he laid his head on my lap much of the way home with a sad look in his eyes. Kind of a combination of "I don't feel good" and "I'm sorry".  

My pay this week was considerably better than expected! Nice surprise after last week. Because of unplanned (but sometimes avoidable) expenses, I had gone through more money than I counted on. This brings me back to speed. I should be able to finish the fence in the next two weeks without running in the red. While still making the mortgage payment and student loan. This came as a good thing. No bonuses, only one hour of OT. It was all me pulling extra cases. From the way it appears, the next check should be just as good.

Speaking of which, I can now start paying a bit extra on the student loan and work toward getting it paid off. Start with a little extra and increase the payments as my savings improve. For now, it wouldn't make sense to pay huge amounts and leave my immediate finances on the edge. 

I need to plan and submit my request for vacation plans soon, so I don't have the same problems as last year. 
 

Shelter

Went to the shelter after work. Arranged for the dog to be fixed, immunized and chipped. Pick him up tomorrow after work. 

Seems he was found on Isleta (nearby) with a chicken in his mouth. Oh, well. He's still a dog.

In the picture from animal control, he looks embarrassed and ashamed. The picture shows him standing next to someone, so I know he wasn't acting up. (Which he doesn't, really.)

Got the two gates installed. 

Unhooked the gas heater in the solarium. Just waiting now to find out I regret that decision. Watch the weather go below freezing again. 

Rainy evening

My original plan for this evening was to hang the new garden gate. However, it started raining right about the time I got off work. So, I went to the gym instead.

Here's an interesting thing. My heart rate was a bit higher today than the other day. I think because I'm a bit sore. However, when I was on the ski machine at a pace between 5-6 miles an hour, my heart rate was 140 or slightly higher. When I increased my pace to between 6-7 miles an hour, my heart rate decreased to 130's or lower. Figure that one out. Even as a nurse, I can't do it.

Still on an alternate workout program. Going to stick with this one primarily for a little while. Less intense in some ways and using lower weight stacks all around. However, important. Building up smaller muscle groups which are harder to develop. Though I am still including chest, it is at lower weight stacks and higher reps. My initial approach was building strength. However, for me that doesn't really equate to muscle mass. Besides, high weight and low reps doesn't do that much for endurance. I'm hoping this approach builds both muscle mass and my energy level. Very often, greater muscle mass does equate to higher energy levels because energy occurs at the cellular level. More mass means more cells to produce energy. The down side to this is that building mass requires a lot of energy. 

In general, I am gaining more energy as weather warms up and days get longer. Meanwhile, my weight has stabilized pretty much. Why? Because your body burns more calories in cold weather to generate heat.

I did finish building the main garden gate last night. Tonight I built the smaller gate. Both are in the living room. The smaller one is a less formal gate structure. I built it so parts will extend through the chain link fence it will abut and I can place the bottom section in cinder blocks. That way I can remove it for easier access if needed to that area. 

One gate to go. However, I'll wait to build that one. If the dog isn't dropping loads between the wall and the fence it's not needed. However, I do still need to finish building the garden fence. Going to take a bit of work and money but will be worth it in the long run.    

Called animal control about the dog today. They want proof of ownership to pick the dog up. Hmm. That was a slight challenge, since he's not registered. I had to hunt down an old picture (which they will accept as proof) of him as a puppy. Between that and describing his collar and the electronic collar he was wearing, that should do it. I can have them neuter and microchip him before picking him up. He's not going to be happy. Chipped and snipped. But if it makes him safer and less prone to escape attempts, that's okay. 

Dogs found

So, the dogs were picked up by animal control. Their mug shots are up on the website. Have to call tomorrow and find out how to get the older one back. I'm not going to pick up the younger one. Just wish him luck on being adopted to a good home. Between the money and the fact that he is far too much trouble, I have to let him be. I also assume he will be just like his mother. Once she learned how to get out of the yard, I could not keep her in. The older dog is calmer, smarter, quieter and far less destructive. Both daughter and I have more emotional attachment to the older dog. 

For the record, I never would have voluntarily surrendered the younger dog if he had stayed in the yard. This was just a step too far.

Even for the older dog, it's probably a good idea for him to spend a couple of nights in "doggy jail" and learn a lesson. 

I do need to finish putting up the garden gate plus build another gate or small fence to block the route they got out, just to make sure the older one doesn't get it in his head to get out again. I'll finish at least the garden gate tonight and get started on the other one.

Got my test for work done today. Hard to believe but they actually made it shorter and more honest. They increased the number of audits but it's been rare I had any problems with those. (Knock on wood.)

I'm dragging ass today. Woke up just before time for work. Been pretty tired all day. Could it actually be because my heart rate is decreasing? Possible. I have no doubt it takes time for the body to adjust to such a change. Had a hard time getting to sleep last night. 

Considering reversing plans for the camera cable routing. Instead of keeping the monitor in the front room and running multiple cables through, I may move the monitor to the bedroom. The cables from the roof exit the wall there. Instead, I could run one ethernet cable from the front room to the bedroom. I'll have to think about it. 

Dogs gone

Woke up this morning and both dogs are gone. Not in the yard, no place to be seen in the neighborhood. I've walked around as much as I could, which is limited but did not see them. I suspect they were picked up by animal control. 

I'll keep an eye on the animal control website. See if they show up. If not, little I can do except drive or walk around the neighborhood after work. 

If I don't find them, I will badly miss the older dog. He's a really good dog. The younger one, not so much. I'm sure he was the instigator in their escape. 

If they don't show up, I'm not getting another dog. Period. I'm tired of the extra expense, work, odor and constant destruction. I'd rather have rabbits, chickens and peacocks. Quieter, calmer animals that don't stink to high heavens and don't destroy everything they come in contact with. 

Sad thing is that the older dog is very protective. I think he would have been fine with smaller animals by himself. If I can get him back, I will. 

Different workout

Went back to the gym tonight. Skipped all last week. The pain I was having wasn't sore muscles so much as other problems. Most notably my shoulder pain came back.

It may or may not sound like the greatest wisdom but I decided to work the parts of my body hardest that were bothering me most. I figure it will either help or basically cripple me tomorrow and for several days beyond.

However, I have a history of different chronic musculoskeletal problems. Knee pain, back pain.. Thing is, when I have had a problem, it basically did not stop until I worked that part of my body extremely hard. Usually the issue is shortened ligaments and tendons. 

I've tried that before with my shoulders. However, I am doing some different exercises this time. Some I was apprehensive about. The main part I am targeting are the posterior deltoids. It may well be that I have worked my shoulders too unevenly, which is causing a twisting of the internal rotator cuff. I am starting off with rather low weights, so not to pull a muscle. I honestly cannot recall ever doing exercises that specifically target those muscles. Never really needed to that I knew of. Right now my shoulders are tired but in less pain than they have generally been in for a while.

In general this was a very different workout. 

One good sign of health. I went twice as far as I have been going for some time on the ski machine. For the first 1/10 of a mile, my heart rate climbed up to 129. Then an interesting thing happened. My heart rate slowed down to 133-114 and stayed there the rest of the time, even though I was going at a rate of 6 miles an hour. (Which is harder on a ski machine than walking or treadmill.) 

Tomorrow night I need to work on my tests for the job and get dishes done. I have a huge pile of dishes. Just too tired tonight for it.

Less than..

Carrying forward less than anticipated this paycheck to the next. Spent a lot bringing steep utility bills up to date. Spent money on building supplies. Forgot about the car insurance due this week. Plus ordered a tablet computer for kiddo. So, not wasted..but not saved.

As of right now, I am bringing an extra $100 forward. If I spend any money this week, that decreases. 

I was very disappointed in my last check. Expected it to be higher, given the bonus. I think it did more harm than good. Oh, well. Maybe it will lead to a better tax refund next year.

Tamales and chili

Daughter and I went to the Aquarium yesterday. Then came home and both did some stuff outside regarding the solarium. I opened up the sides because it's getting really hot in there now. 

We also played with swords. She's a bit stubborn and wants to do things her way but she started listening when I started teaching her how to do some techniques and explained why each move is important. Many aspects of sword fighting are not obvious and you do not see these things in movies. At least, not explained. Like why you should hold a sword with the flat facing up, not the edge. We both tried throwing knives that came our swords and neither had much luck or skill. I used to throw knives many years ago but these are tiny. (I also think not well balanced. They were probably cut to be balanced but then the handles were wrapped and it threw the balance off.)

I'm going to cut some wood practice swords for the purpose. Wrap them with padding. 

We went swimming today. She was asking yesterday but we ran out of time while the pool was open.

Got the other 4x4 for the second side of the gate set in concrete. Did that yesterday.

This evening, I made the frame for the gate and cut the wood slats, as the gate will be shorter than the fence. Have to get the other gate done next week or later.

I made tamales last night. Last chance before it just gets too hot to do so. Plus I got a large pork roast, finally on special for a reasonable price. Pork has been too expensive for a long time. Only made about two dozen. Not giving them away this time. These are for me. Now I have some chili (Texas chili) on the stove. They should be good for quick meals.

Lots of things to do this week. Time for tests for work again. Have to get the first stage of those done this week.  

Seems okay

Not feeling sick this morning. Guess that eliminates the new cannabis as making me ill. So I'm not sure what caused it. Unless I'm developing an allergy to potatoes. Or I got a bag of contaminated potatoes. The latter seems more likely. Never heard of anyone with a potato allergy.

Actually, just checked. It does exist. May be a reaction to a chemical in the skin (which is actually a poison but in low concentration). So I better start peeling my potatoes as a precaution. Twice I ate potatoes this week, twice I got fairly ill. 

Here's a problem. Since I started working out again, my shoulder pain has returned. Not as bad as before but very much there. I don't think working out in itself is the problem but advancing too quickly and the need to balance my workout more. Pull-down exercises seem to help. One that strains them the most is the pec fly.

The shoulder pain is really frustrating to me because my shoulders have always been one of the strongest parts of my body. Long as I could lift something with my shoulders, I could lift it. And since the shoulders are attached to the whole upper body, at different times shoulder problems can lead to chest pain (pec and pec sternal attachment), arm pain, neck pain and back pain. I have realized my back pain years ago stemmed from my shoulder problem. The doctors could have figured that out back then if they had remotely paid attention to anatomy, which I did not know at the time. Now I know what idiots they really were, except the one who finally helped me after 2 1/2 years of pain. 

Okay, I have a couple of things to do before picking daughter up.

First fence section done!

Got the first fence section (about 16 ft) finished this evening. It looks.. Good! Yay! I'm happy with it. 

The dogs aren't looking so excited.

I still have about 40 ft plus a gate to go. Plus another, separate gate. Mostly limited by how many supplies I can carry in the car at once. However, I can probably carry enough for a 16 ft section at once. 

The invisible fence cable got broken. So the dogs started crapping on the rock pile again. I re-routed the cable to block that area plus the plant area of the solarium. Over all, that actually increases their free space. 

Adjusted one of the cameras. Much better view now. I think I may get at least one higher resolution camera. Not thrilled with the clarity. They work great inside but not as well outside for a larger area and greater distance. I think the focal length is inadequate. I may be able to tweak it by altering the settings but can only get so much out of it. Neighbors don't know that, though. 

Work kind of sucked today. Had a lot of really belligerent people calling. Always around ANY holiday. Like they're pissed off that they're not drunk already. Hope their damn karma comes back to them soon. Got hung up on numerous times. Not because of anything unprofessional, just because they didn't get what they want. Interrupted over and over and over. F'ing people from NY and NJ. 

Not sure this new strain of cannabis is so great for me. Seems to make me woozy and nauseated the morning after I use it. Tried it again tonight in a lower dosage. 

Outdoor cameras

Made a run to Home Depot this evening. Got more fence slats plus a 4x4. That should let me get the rest of the first section of fence completed and start on the next section. Also got some hinges and a sliding latch to install a gate to keep the dogs out from between the house and the north fence. (Another place they crap to "mark their territory" against the neighbors dogs on the other side of the fence.)

Came back home and began the hunt for the lower end of the camera cables I dropped down the old heater vent. That took a bit more effort than I had counted on. Thanks to the freaky construction of this house again. Plus came across two deserted rodent nests in the wall. One of which contained an old sock of my daughter's. Unless it's much older. The vent did not reach the floor and was sealed at the bottom. I eventually found it had a stucco and metal lath plug in the vent, then had been patched into the wall. Eventually, I got the cables run through to the front room and hooked up. 

Turns out the resolution under IR light really isn't so good. Extremely grainy. I may wind up getting a couple of higher resolution cameras. Or some IR lights. Not sure if resolution helps that much with night vision, which is always fairly grainy. Wait and see how the picture looks in the daytime. It does look better when the front light is on. 

Work was neither great nor terrible today. Had 80 cases. Glad I wasn't sick any more.

More proof of just how stupid these dogs are. I have two bags of dry concrete in the back yard. The dogs tore two of them open. It actually looks like they may have eaten some of it. How the hell do you protect an animal (from it self) who is so stupid that it eats ground up f'ing rocks?!!

Crappy day

Had a truly crappy day.

Woke up late, just in time for work. Then had a bronchitis attack which made me have to sit back for a few minutes until medicine started kicking in. Then wound up having diarrhea. 

Still feel like crap now. 

Even though I was still sick, had to work on the garden fence this evening. The dogs never stop destroying things and never stop crapping where they shouldn't. Got a good part of it done but ran out of slats. I seriously underestimated the number of slats needed. Should have measured it out and calculated on paper. Oh, well. Put a temporary fix in place where I didn't have slats and the dogs are currently blocked from the garden. 

My sword came in the mail today. It's very close to the same size as daughter's and looks much alike. 

Also got the surge protector. Can move the security DVR tomorrow. Last night I ran the camera cables down the old heater vent. Now I can't find where they are in the wall. Have to get on the roof and measure how far back the vent is. Still waiting for a couple more cables to arrive. Once they get here I can get the last two cameras mounted outside. Then again, I could go ahead and put those up and wait to install the inside cameras. No matter what, I'll get the whole thing hooked up to internet tomorrow and get the existing two cameras working. 

2.5 hours

Not bad work for 2.5 hours after work today. 

I built two simple camera mounts. Decided the 4x4 was too big, wouldn't fit in the cinder blocks I have, so used 2x4's instead with a small platform on top and camera mounts attached to that.

Set a total of five posts in concrete. Two of those were on the roof. Mixed concrete in the cement mixer, poured it in buckets and hauled it up to the roof. The other three posts were for the new garden fence, so had to dig post holes.

Did I mention all the concrete was still in the car when I started? Before much else, had to haul all that to the back yard. 

Mounted two cameras and ran the cables down the old gas wall furnace vent. They're not hooked up yet but they appear to be from the outside. 

Even before I was finished, one truck seemed like they were trying to avoid the cameras by backing all the way down the street. Once they're active, that won't matter since there are two cameras to track each direction of travel. So if their license plate doesn't appear on one camera, it will show on the other. One camera facing south is on a 3 1/2 ft post. The one facing north is on a 5 1/2 ft post. So the entire street will be visible. Plus part of the park and a small stretch of Barcelona. 

I left one of the dummy cameras on the roof pointed directly at the paranoid neighbors house. Just to screw with their heads. However, the last front-facing camera may show their house because the cameras have a good field of view. The real intent of that one will be the immediate front of my house, including the driveway and doorway. 

Did dishes and started dinner after that 2.5 hour period.

Not a bad day for work. Worked 80 cases, which equals one extra hour of pay. 

So, while I didn't get to the gym, that doesn't mean I didn't get a workout. Carrying bags of concrete, digging and hauling stuff up to the roof was something of a workout. 

I can get the rest of the first fence section finished tomorrow and keep the dogs out of the garden before they destroy too much else. I already have lbs of dog shit to pick up and lots of weed fabric to replace, along with mulch that has to be put back in place because of them. 

More concrete

I had to go to the dispensary tonight. Trying a new variety. Little stronger but tastes and smells much better. Yet less expensive. Bought two grams so I won't have to go for a long time.

On the way back, stopped at Lowe's again for more concrete. So I have enough for the cameras and first part of the fence.

So, I have so much to do that I may only get to the gym once this week. 

Work was seriously busy today. I didn't work any extra time but had 97 cases, which basically equates to three hours of pay. Almost. 

I'm tired. Going to get to bed early tonight.

Fishing

Daughter and I went fishing today at Tingley Beach. I have a long history of not having any luck at fishing. 

Then one person kept casting his line in a diagonal across our area. My line got caught on his and he acted irate. I stayed cool. Then my line got caught on someone else's. When it was untangled I threw my rod down in frustration. One man started to nicely correct me. I explained my frustration. Then he offered to teach my daughter some tricks. He had several fish he and his granddaughter had caught, so I said yes. He taught us both. Ten minutes later she had caught her first fish. Ten minutes after that she caught her second fish. The second was small but the first was huge! She wanted to let them both go. The man who taught us wanted the first one, so he kept it. The second I did let go. She likes catching them but doesn't want to seriously injure or kill them. 

I felt bad. She asked if we could kill the first one quickly to stop it from suffering. He said no, wanted to keep it alive I think until he got home. That upset her, though she didn't make a big fuss about it.

She was much happier when we let the second one go. Someone asked to keep that one but I ignored them and let it go, any way. 

After I dropped her off this evening, I went by Home Depot and Lowe's and picked up some supplies. Unfortunately I should have written numbers down. I still forgot a couple of bags of concrete. Oh, well. Need to go that way to get my hair cut this week so can stop along the way then. I did get mostly enough supplies for the first section of the fence and to get the cameras on the roof. 

So, I have a pretty busy week or three ahead of me. Wiring, building fences, installing security cameras, turning the plastic barrel into a compost tumbler. 

Actually, it's going to be a busy spring and summer. I have a ton of projects to work on. And most of the resources to do them. Though I have a lot of concrete and stone work ahead this year. 

Time change

Time changes tonight. Had a hard time getting daughter to bed, so she's going to sleep late in the morning. Know she'll pay for it Monday in school. Personally, I always thought the time change would be better if done on Fri night than Sat. It takes at least one day to adjust. Most people take more. Takes me less because I'm used to my schedule being all the way around the clock. Takes no more than one day to adjust to any changes physically. It does result in changes of habits which last for much longer.

We didn't do a whole lot today. Went to Harbor Freight for their parking lot sale. Didn't get much. There are things I want but they're large purchases which will wait. Not urgent in any way.

Grocery shopping and went to get Chinese food. She worked on her own little area in the solarium which she wants to use as a play house. Watched some Monster High movies this evening.

Checked the vent on the roof and it seems like it should reach down far enough to pass the camera cables through. Definitely from an old gas wall furnace. 

Got the electric cable for the office today. Got more than needed because a 100 ft roll was $28, while 250 ft was $37. Just made sense to buy the larger roll. I'd rather have too much than not enough. It can be stored pretty much indefinitely and I don't know what projects I may come up with in the future. 

So, my spending has expanded. Does cut into what I had intended to save but may as well get these things done, as they are needed at some level. Of recent expenses the camera is the least necessary but highly preferable to have. Some would argue against the security system but it makes me feel..well, more secure. I've always known if I ever had a house it would have a security system. 

Slow start

Had a hard time getting to sleep. So I had a hard time waking up. 

Off to a slow start. Want to wash dishes before I go pick daughter up. Need coffee and cigarettes first. 

Don't have any actual plans for this weekend. Wait until I pick daughter up and coordinate with her, see if there's something she wants to do. Have to go shopping for a few small things. Hopefully the stores have slowed down from Welfare Week. 

The time change is tonight. So sunset will be later starting tomorrow. Means spring is almost here! Going to start getting some things done outside the house now. That is, aside from working on the office. 

I have to remove all the stuff from the room and map out wiring plans. Which also involves determining the structure of one wall. I believe one wall is cinder block while the rest are wood and sheet rock. No room to crawl underneath the office, so I may have to use a junction box. Nothing big, just install a double outlet box with a cover and run all the wires to that box. Takes more cable but means I don't have to cut the walls up nearly as much. 

Post-karaoke post

Okay, just got back from karaoke a short while ago. It was fun but my favorite opening song has been co-opted by some other guy. I wouldn't mind but he sucks at it! 

Took my medicine and drinking a protein shake while waiting for it to kick in. Used the cannabis to speed things up.

On that one, still a lightweight. Though my tolerance seems to be stabilizing. I don't really want it to increase. Two weeks ago I got one gram of it. I'm only halfway through that. Maybe 2/3 at most. To make that more clear, it takes 30 grams to make one ounce. The limit of possession with a license is 6 ounces for three months. So, 180 times what takes me at least three weeks to go through. If I tried smoking that much I'd be comatose and on a mechanical respirator. 

Been meaning to make a phone call for a while. Just to be able to access my retirement account online. So, what I found is that my account has grown by over $2000 in one year. Should increase by more than that this year, with my increased deduction going into it. 

So, worlds away from the last few years. I finally have some kind of cushion. Makes me feel a lot safer. The IRA, medical savings account plus what I have in the bank. Which is a whole lot less since I paid bills today. Not complaining. Not since I have the money to pay the bills, which came down to the wire a few times. This time last year the bank was still threatening me.

I didn't really do the math on the bills I paid. I have enough for them, so I'll see how it looks after the dust settles. Such a nice difference from juggling payments while trying to keep enough for food. 

Okay, medicine is kicking in. Time for bed.

 

Small spending spree

Well, of course my check was considerably less than I was counting on. Taxes ate a huge part. Plus I have more money going to insurance, medical savings account and retirement than ever before. Oh, well.

Still, it was a decent check. So I am going on a small spending spree. Nothing huge. 

Ordered a new camera to replace the one stolen. I did order a used one, so not quite so expensive but it is a newer model than the one I had before. Plus batteries and memory cards.

Ordered a sword for me and a surge protector.

For daughter I ordered an Android tablet computer. One she can take with her. She has had an Android and an Amazon tablet at her mother's for a couple of years now, which she is not allowed to take anywhere and has not been allowed to install video chat software. So this will be one she can take back and forth. I will install video chat software so she can video chat with me when she wants. Or with her girlfriends. I will install parental controls and different programs for her before giving it to her. I'll make sure the video software has parental controls so either I or her mother have to approve new video chat partners. The one I ordered has 16 GB of space, extendable with a memory card which I also ordered. Has two cameras and dual processors. First color choice was not in stock, so I think I ordered a non-obnoxious pink one. Not the greatest battery, only 4 hours run time. So I will have to impress on her how to charge it and turn it off when not in use. I will also test it a bit before giving it to her for that. It may come in handy for her for school and such. Can also load reference materials or books she wants. Maybe a few games. Gives her a little more freedom. Within safe limits.

It's a difference between her mother and myself. Her mother gives her something and then exerts extreme control over it. If I giver her something I give her more freedom. Am I afraid it may get broken or stolen? Yes. Does that mean extreme restriction is warranted? Not in my view. It is a fact of life that things get broken, things get stolen and mistakes get made. I trust my daughter and would much rather any of these things happen when adults are around (especially myself) so she learns how to deal with it. 

I think she has seen me deal with such things fairly gracefully in the past. Things have been stolen and I have gotten angry for a short time but got over it quickly. Things get broken and I usually shrug it off. Mistakes get made and I learn from it and move on. None of that means you lock yourself away.

Okay. Work is now over and it's my weekend! Yay!

More targeted

I am still very slightly sore from the workouts last Thur and this past Sun. I never stay sore that long, so that tells clearly just how intense those workouts were. No damage or harm, just soreness. However, I will say definitively that this is the kind of workout which builds the greatest muscle mass. 

On the other hand, that was the last of the massive intense workouts for a little while. I have managed to get back in much better basic shape in 2 months. Starting tonight, I am changing my approach for a while. Instead of massive weights (massive compared to what I have been doing for so long), I am lowering the weight levels and going for much more targeted workouts. Mostly focusing on chest, waist, shoulders and abs. 

Since I don't have to reserve as much energy for lifting weights, I think I will also start extending my time on the ski machine. The combination of the longer aerobics and less intense but possibly longer workouts will be helpful in increasing my energy level. 

As it is, I have seen a very good improvement in my heart rate on the ski machine. It displays your heart rate, detected through your hands. When I started working out in early January, my heart rate went as high as 160. (That's high but I have had a naturally high heart rate for 30 years that I know of.) Today my heart rate stayed around 130, mostly lower. I admit the worse my allergies are, the higher my heart rate. For a few weeks, I've been sticking to 1/2 mile each time at the gym. That was just a warm up and did not want to expend all my energy on that before doing heavy lifting. Now it's time to start extending that distance. 

Today was slower for work because of snow in the NE states. One entire insurance company closed their main offices. First time I've heard of that happening. Doesn't mean the first time it's happened, just the first I heard of it. I still made more than 70 cases, so I'm still well ahead for the week.