I was thinking, beginning from my last comment about my bd.
We only get disappointed when we have expectations. Most of my life my bd didn't matter to me. Mostly because it didn't matter to anyone else. (Meaning MY bd didn't matter to them. Theirs most certainly did.) It's been a pet peeve of mine most of my life that people place so much importance on certain days. Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day.. Honestly, if a person or their role in your life, their happiness, does not matter to you all year long, then why should it matter on one specific day?
My hope was for decent sex for my bd. (I know, of course it was.) Then again, when is that not a hope? Why on one day? I hate quickies. Ugh. Not going to get started.
I know I am going to wind up paying attention to someone else's feelings tomorrow. What I want doesn't matter. Even one day where I'm asked what I want and get it?
Whatever.
My best bet is to simply not have any expectations. Not even those that have been discussed. Face the fact that words are words to most people and nothing more. It is my karma that I will be alone in all respects unless I am giving. No use asking. No use hoping. All expectations will do is leave me wishing. So I'll stop wishing.
We only get disappointed when we have expectations. Most of my life my bd didn't matter to me. Mostly because it didn't matter to anyone else. (Meaning MY bd didn't matter to them. Theirs most certainly did.) It's been a pet peeve of mine most of my life that people place so much importance on certain days. Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day.. Honestly, if a person or their role in your life, their happiness, does not matter to you all year long, then why should it matter on one specific day?
My hope was for decent sex for my bd. (I know, of course it was.) Then again, when is that not a hope? Why on one day? I hate quickies. Ugh. Not going to get started.
I know I am going to wind up paying attention to someone else's feelings tomorrow. What I want doesn't matter. Even one day where I'm asked what I want and get it?
Whatever.
My best bet is to simply not have any expectations. Not even those that have been discussed. Face the fact that words are words to most people and nothing more. It is my karma that I will be alone in all respects unless I am giving. No use asking. No use hoping. All expectations will do is leave me wishing. So I'll stop wishing.
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