The ex has not changed at all. Now almost 43 years old and still an overly aggressive drama queen.
I texted yesterday to ask when to pick daughter up, she replied "no change".
So, a few weeks ago I got an email from her which said, "She's working with her on Friday, and Heather's bringing her back here by no later than 7. hope that's ok. did you still want her Friday, or would you rather wait until Saturday morning? Let me know. Ohh, and she's busted her butt the first week and this week in order to have all her schoolwork done by Fridays." Notice the multiple at the end? Then, when I asked daughter if it was going to be every Friday, I got no clear answer. She told me how she wants to earn money for college and for spending money. Which I praised highly.
So that weekend I picked daughter up at 7:30. Next weekend, I did not see daughter because of work. Last weekend the ex dropped daughter off on Sat because of a book fair.
I thought daughter was going to be working every Fri until summer, then it would become every Sat.
Sitting here with gf yesterday, relaxed, getting ready to go pick daughter up, thinking at 7:30. Knock on the door. The ex confronting me that I was supposed to be there at 6. I tried to explain but that (as usual) did no good.
In addition, she brought her husband, who is much larger than I, apparently to intimidate me? What it looked like. That didn't work out so well if that was the intent. He didn't even look at me. It looked like he was trying not to laugh at her.
Did they bring daughter with them? No. She claimed they were afraid something happened to me. No relief shown that I was okay. Instead, after they left, I had to go pick daughter up from their house. That was a clear power play.
I suspect they are still in certain social arrangements they had previously. Obviously me being "late" interfered with their weekend plans for 90 minutes. I know they're not going to karaoke and have not been able to advise on any other social opportunities locally. No chance they'd be seeing me at any of those gatherings. Not judging but have some priorities.
It should have been evident that there was a misunderstanding on my part in this situation. I'm extremely consistent and reliable. Boringly so. Not prone to neglect or abuse. I should not be treated as if I am. If I am going to be even 5 minutes late, I call ahead. This was ridiculous. But I refused to let it escalate any further than it did. There would be no benefit to anyone. However, I don't expect this to be the end of the matter on her part.
Now, I admit I did not realize I had the ringer turned off to my phone. It happens. But all of this happened at 7 PM. Between 6 and 7, she texted me once, called SIX times and drove over here in Fri evening traffic. WTF?!!! This could have gone so much differently.
So, my only option now is to text and confirm the correct time each day I am supposed to pick daughter up. If there will be any changes to when I drop daughter off, then I will start confirming that also. For any problems, I tend to come up with solutions.
Guess I should accept this as a reminder of how much more emotionally stable my life is now. Any problems with my gf are really petty at times on my part and I need to see it that way. Most issues we've had are due to my own insecurities and impatience. She is so much more emotionally mature, reasonable and giving. I'm really lucky now. Just need to rein myself in.
I texted yesterday to ask when to pick daughter up, she replied "no change".
So, a few weeks ago I got an email from her which said, "She's working with her on Friday, and Heather's bringing her back here by no later than 7. hope that's ok. did you still want her Friday, or would you rather wait until Saturday morning? Let me know. Ohh, and she's busted her butt the first week and this week in order to have all her schoolwork done by Fridays." Notice the multiple at the end? Then, when I asked daughter if it was going to be every Friday, I got no clear answer. She told me how she wants to earn money for college and for spending money. Which I praised highly.
So that weekend I picked daughter up at 7:30. Next weekend, I did not see daughter because of work. Last weekend the ex dropped daughter off on Sat because of a book fair.
I thought daughter was going to be working every Fri until summer, then it would become every Sat.
Sitting here with gf yesterday, relaxed, getting ready to go pick daughter up, thinking at 7:30. Knock on the door. The ex confronting me that I was supposed to be there at 6. I tried to explain but that (as usual) did no good.
In addition, she brought her husband, who is much larger than I, apparently to intimidate me? What it looked like. That didn't work out so well if that was the intent. He didn't even look at me. It looked like he was trying not to laugh at her.
Did they bring daughter with them? No. She claimed they were afraid something happened to me. No relief shown that I was okay. Instead, after they left, I had to go pick daughter up from their house. That was a clear power play.
I suspect they are still in certain social arrangements they had previously. Obviously me being "late" interfered with their weekend plans for 90 minutes. I know they're not going to karaoke and have not been able to advise on any other social opportunities locally. No chance they'd be seeing me at any of those gatherings. Not judging but have some priorities.
It should have been evident that there was a misunderstanding on my part in this situation. I'm extremely consistent and reliable. Boringly so. Not prone to neglect or abuse. I should not be treated as if I am. If I am going to be even 5 minutes late, I call ahead. This was ridiculous. But I refused to let it escalate any further than it did. There would be no benefit to anyone. However, I don't expect this to be the end of the matter on her part.
Now, I admit I did not realize I had the ringer turned off to my phone. It happens. But all of this happened at 7 PM. Between 6 and 7, she texted me once, called SIX times and drove over here in Fri evening traffic. WTF?!!! This could have gone so much differently.
So, my only option now is to text and confirm the correct time each day I am supposed to pick daughter up. If there will be any changes to when I drop daughter off, then I will start confirming that also. For any problems, I tend to come up with solutions.
Guess I should accept this as a reminder of how much more emotionally stable my life is now. Any problems with my gf are really petty at times on my part and I need to see it that way. Most issues we've had are due to my own insecurities and impatience. She is so much more emotionally mature, reasonable and giving. I'm really lucky now. Just need to rein myself in.
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