In a kind of an odd place emotionally.
Where my relationship is concerned, I am all in now and not the least bit sorry. Very happy about it.
On the other hand, I do want to branch out a bit socially. Make more friends. Platonic friends. But I am still rather happy in my solitude.
I do not want to take any chances of hurting her. She has suffered some emotionally and is in a fairly fragile emotional place herself. She is a true submissive and may not voice it if I did something which hurt her but I would see it, feel it and it would result in a barrier I do not want to be there.
I think what I may need to do is break out of my solitude and start getting out to social functions, like focused meeting groups. Small groups. Not dating groups.
One thing I do plan to do is attend a BDSM discussion group on Wed. It's in public. Not a dating group. Though last I saw only one person is going, so maybe not. Mostly I am curious. I attended one such meeting in Abq and it was all huge people. Then I noted that every meeting was at an all you can eat buffet. At least this one is not at a buffet. So I'd like to see the difference.
Otherwise I want to start getting out to karaoke and different meeting groups that actually meet to socialize rather than make money.
I am being conservative with my money now. Not in any danger zone but need to get a job. Supposed to have one interview which is questionable this week. Need to research the company further before the interview. Still waiting for further word on another interview which I am hoping for. But not going to keep waiting. Need to get my resume out for more positions this week. I don't want to wait until it becomes critical and all my savings are gone. I'm bored as hell.
Going to get the YouTube channel going this week. Had technical issues which I think are related to the new computer not being strong enough. Though I may have to just edit to sync the audio and video in a separate program. Was hoping to avoid that because it adds a whole lot of extra time and work. Still waiting on a cable for the main computer. Looks like I can record on the iPad. That has limited storage, so have to upload and store locally. That's more time and work, also. Frustrating.
Where my relationship is concerned, I am all in now and not the least bit sorry. Very happy about it.
On the other hand, I do want to branch out a bit socially. Make more friends. Platonic friends. But I am still rather happy in my solitude.
I do not want to take any chances of hurting her. She has suffered some emotionally and is in a fairly fragile emotional place herself. She is a true submissive and may not voice it if I did something which hurt her but I would see it, feel it and it would result in a barrier I do not want to be there.
I think what I may need to do is break out of my solitude and start getting out to social functions, like focused meeting groups. Small groups. Not dating groups.
One thing I do plan to do is attend a BDSM discussion group on Wed. It's in public. Not a dating group. Though last I saw only one person is going, so maybe not. Mostly I am curious. I attended one such meeting in Abq and it was all huge people. Then I noted that every meeting was at an all you can eat buffet. At least this one is not at a buffet. So I'd like to see the difference.
Otherwise I want to start getting out to karaoke and different meeting groups that actually meet to socialize rather than make money.
I am being conservative with my money now. Not in any danger zone but need to get a job. Supposed to have one interview which is questionable this week. Need to research the company further before the interview. Still waiting for further word on another interview which I am hoping for. But not going to keep waiting. Need to get my resume out for more positions this week. I don't want to wait until it becomes critical and all my savings are gone. I'm bored as hell.
Going to get the YouTube channel going this week. Had technical issues which I think are related to the new computer not being strong enough. Though I may have to just edit to sync the audio and video in a separate program. Was hoping to avoid that because it adds a whole lot of extra time and work. Still waiting on a cable for the main computer. Looks like I can record on the iPad. That has limited storage, so have to upload and store locally. That's more time and work, also. Frustrating.
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