Maybe I'm not so strong.
Once I am in a relationship, I cannot hold back easily. I put my whole being into it. Which puts me at extreme risk. But I cannot be happy any other way. Otherwise, why be in a relationship at all?
I know this is different. I counted on that.
However. It seems to me like she is pulling back from me while trying to pull my heart in further. The deeper I go, the more I want, the more possessive I can become. Not like thinking or treating her like a belonging. Just wanting more time together.
So, while I have expressed the desire for more time together, what I am getting is her arriving later and later, staying shorter periods and less often.
Yesterday she said she was going to PT, then would come over here. After PT she texted me to say she was on her way. Next thing I know, she texts me to say she's getting her nails done. PT was at 1, she didn't get here until 5 or later.
Tomorrow she said she will come over after PT. Now I am not expecting her to be here until after 5.
So, maybe the best decision I can make is to protect myself. Maybe I am being played. I don't want to believe that but have to face that possibility.
Going to wait and see how tomorrow plays out. Then tell her I am putting my single's ads back up. Not my first choice but not going to wait around and feel this way.
Once I am in a relationship, I cannot hold back easily. I put my whole being into it. Which puts me at extreme risk. But I cannot be happy any other way. Otherwise, why be in a relationship at all?
I know this is different. I counted on that.
However. It seems to me like she is pulling back from me while trying to pull my heart in further. The deeper I go, the more I want, the more possessive I can become. Not like thinking or treating her like a belonging. Just wanting more time together.
So, while I have expressed the desire for more time together, what I am getting is her arriving later and later, staying shorter periods and less often.
Yesterday she said she was going to PT, then would come over here. After PT she texted me to say she was on her way. Next thing I know, she texts me to say she's getting her nails done. PT was at 1, she didn't get here until 5 or later.
Tomorrow she said she will come over after PT. Now I am not expecting her to be here until after 5.
So, maybe the best decision I can make is to protect myself. Maybe I am being played. I don't want to believe that but have to face that possibility.
Going to wait and see how tomorrow plays out. Then tell her I am putting my single's ads back up. Not my first choice but not going to wait around and feel this way.
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