GF came over last night and we talked. It was a difficult talk to have but it had to happen.
She asked if I had unfollowed her page and I said yes. She asked why and I told her. Then the discussion turned to the widening gap between us and I spoke honestly. Told her she was correct. Then explained why. That our relationship had become all about her.
It became rather tense for me and she was in tears. It took several attempts to get her to listen to what I was saying and that I was not throwing her away, I was telling her how I felt. I illustrated by the fact that early in the discussion I was talking about inviting her over for lunch with daughter and I. She interrupted mid-sentence to talk about her blood sugar and blood pressure. I think that was when she got it. I explained that I spend all my time alone and then seem to be a servant of some kind when she's here. More than bf, any way. That I don't mind being her nurse, confidante, therapist, masseur, cook, etc but there has to be something in it for me.
I finally got through with all of that. Though she was so resistant to listening I had to fight the urge to tell her to go several times. If she had not listened at that point, I would have. Not to where she could not come back but to give her time to think about it.
After that, things changed radically. She promises to change things as much as she can. Of course, I have to wait and see if that happens. Words are easy.
I still love her intensely. Otherwise I would not continue putting in the effort. I know only a certain amount can change for the time being. I accept that. I have always accepted certain limits. I just cannot accept a growing number of limits and no room for growth in our relationship. There is very little I have the ability to ask for realistically.
Have to get to bed. Fell asleep sitting here.
She asked if I had unfollowed her page and I said yes. She asked why and I told her. Then the discussion turned to the widening gap between us and I spoke honestly. Told her she was correct. Then explained why. That our relationship had become all about her.
It became rather tense for me and she was in tears. It took several attempts to get her to listen to what I was saying and that I was not throwing her away, I was telling her how I felt. I illustrated by the fact that early in the discussion I was talking about inviting her over for lunch with daughter and I. She interrupted mid-sentence to talk about her blood sugar and blood pressure. I think that was when she got it. I explained that I spend all my time alone and then seem to be a servant of some kind when she's here. More than bf, any way. That I don't mind being her nurse, confidante, therapist, masseur, cook, etc but there has to be something in it for me.
I finally got through with all of that. Though she was so resistant to listening I had to fight the urge to tell her to go several times. If she had not listened at that point, I would have. Not to where she could not come back but to give her time to think about it.
After that, things changed radically. She promises to change things as much as she can. Of course, I have to wait and see if that happens. Words are easy.
I still love her intensely. Otherwise I would not continue putting in the effort. I know only a certain amount can change for the time being. I accept that. I have always accepted certain limits. I just cannot accept a growing number of limits and no room for growth in our relationship. There is very little I have the ability to ask for realistically.
Have to get to bed. Fell asleep sitting here.
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