Making fudge was taking too long. It has to be made in small batches, so I got another saucepan this evening. Now I have two batches of fudge on the stove at once. That means I can make multiple kinds of fudge and get them off in the mail in a day or two.
Right now I have chocolate and vanilla fudge. Also going to make coconut candy. The last batch of chocolate came out the way I wanted, softer and chewier but it set properly.
Got a gift for the ex and her husband.
Have to go shopping for presents for daughter one night this week.
My supervisor went over the iterator test with me today. Really thankful for that. Got the tests out of the way. Now just waiting for the last of my audits of the year. If they go well, I only have two left. So far I'm averaging over 98. Passing is 95.
Today is my older brother's birthday. Or would be were he still alive. Hard to believe he's not here any more. Can't pick up the phone and harass him.
Something people do not understand about me. My high pain tolerance extends to my emotions. Didn't always but does now. Doesn't mean I don't feel it. Just means I bury, carry it with what I consider more grace than many people. I'm not good at expressing pain. I show it if I get angry. If I get hurt and feel vulnerable or not in control of any aspect, I don't know how to express it. I can comfort other people in the same conditions but not even good at accepting comfort for myself. I've always been this way, as far back as I can remember.
Basically, I know how to be strong. The few times in my life I have allowed myself weakness did not end well. Never able to let weakness show for fear of it leading to abandonment. It's happened numerous times. More often than that, I just wind up standing on my own.
Right now I have chocolate and vanilla fudge. Also going to make coconut candy. The last batch of chocolate came out the way I wanted, softer and chewier but it set properly.
Got a gift for the ex and her husband.
Have to go shopping for presents for daughter one night this week.
My supervisor went over the iterator test with me today. Really thankful for that. Got the tests out of the way. Now just waiting for the last of my audits of the year. If they go well, I only have two left. So far I'm averaging over 98. Passing is 95.
Today is my older brother's birthday. Or would be were he still alive. Hard to believe he's not here any more. Can't pick up the phone and harass him.
Something people do not understand about me. My high pain tolerance extends to my emotions. Didn't always but does now. Doesn't mean I don't feel it. Just means I bury, carry it with what I consider more grace than many people. I'm not good at expressing pain. I show it if I get angry. If I get hurt and feel vulnerable or not in control of any aspect, I don't know how to express it. I can comfort other people in the same conditions but not even good at accepting comfort for myself. I've always been this way, as far back as I can remember.
Basically, I know how to be strong. The few times in my life I have allowed myself weakness did not end well. Never able to let weakness show for fear of it leading to abandonment. It's happened numerous times. More often than that, I just wind up standing on my own.
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