Slow, boring day for work.
Tonight, seems like it's getting abnormally cold. Not so energetic but feel fine otherwise. That's okay, several of my favorite shows are on tonight. So, a boring night.
Still not able to wear lower dentures for any period yet. Sensitive spots. Getting better, so hope not much longer. Still having to eat a somewhat soft diet. Oh, well. Have to be patient. Only coming on three weeks and it's taking time for all the healing to take place. Takes longer because it's a bit different having nine teeth pulled as opposed to one. And I've probably never really paid any attention to inflammation before. Doesn't feel like there's any inflammation now if just feeling with my tongue or finger. Only when I try to insert the lower dentures. I know they'll fit because they fit the first and second day. It was the third day that swelling set in. Of course, there's just the plain frustration factor.
For some reason, my body odor has changed in the last few weeks. My underarms smell like cat piss (to me). Not extremely strong but something I can notice. Body odor is not something I have ever had a problem with. That is the only area I have a problem, so maybe I just need to change deodorant before having too much concern.
Since I've been giving some minor thought to dating again as an abstract idea, it's natural looking backward. I'll be clear that I haven't met or even talked with anyone online that I'm remotely interested in. Looking back, I know that previous relationships caused a lot of doubt in myself about who I am. Relationships aren't supposed to be like that. They're supposed to make you feel better about yourself, make you more defined as a person. Instead, my past relationships made me question who I am. My ex wife made me doubt my fidelity and stability. Since then I've proven my fidelity is not a question and my stability is quite certain, even if my life circumstances have not been. My last ex made me question my own honesty. Now I realize I am and always have been honest. When not being threatened with violence. I speak the truth, even when it's not positive. Though through that, a darker side arose. I used to hold back the amount of force I would use if defending myself against someone I care about. Now if I am forced into that situation again, I will no longer hold back. Especially against anyone wielding a weapon of any form. Knife, bottle, whatever. If they're willing to do such harm to me, they better be ready to suffer those injuries.
On the other hand, I'm a lot more interested in making friends than anything else. That's been the case for years now. Just not something which is apparently accepted in NM.
In any case, I'm not hiding certain aspects of myself. Some things I express almost instantly drives away the women who look like they could be my grandmother. I also make it clear that I like intelligent and independent women, which drives away the illiterate and hyper-dependent women. I also directly reject drama up front. Unfortunately, that would exclude 99.9 percent of the women here. The rest are probably gay.
That's okay. I'm happy living alone most of the time. If I want anyone around, I want it to be the right someone. Rather do without completely than deal with things I cannot tolerate. Violence, stupidity, dishonesty, conflict, drama and complete dependency. Yuck.
Tonight, seems like it's getting abnormally cold. Not so energetic but feel fine otherwise. That's okay, several of my favorite shows are on tonight. So, a boring night.
Still not able to wear lower dentures for any period yet. Sensitive spots. Getting better, so hope not much longer. Still having to eat a somewhat soft diet. Oh, well. Have to be patient. Only coming on three weeks and it's taking time for all the healing to take place. Takes longer because it's a bit different having nine teeth pulled as opposed to one. And I've probably never really paid any attention to inflammation before. Doesn't feel like there's any inflammation now if just feeling with my tongue or finger. Only when I try to insert the lower dentures. I know they'll fit because they fit the first and second day. It was the third day that swelling set in. Of course, there's just the plain frustration factor.
For some reason, my body odor has changed in the last few weeks. My underarms smell like cat piss (to me). Not extremely strong but something I can notice. Body odor is not something I have ever had a problem with. That is the only area I have a problem, so maybe I just need to change deodorant before having too much concern.
Since I've been giving some minor thought to dating again as an abstract idea, it's natural looking backward. I'll be clear that I haven't met or even talked with anyone online that I'm remotely interested in. Looking back, I know that previous relationships caused a lot of doubt in myself about who I am. Relationships aren't supposed to be like that. They're supposed to make you feel better about yourself, make you more defined as a person. Instead, my past relationships made me question who I am. My ex wife made me doubt my fidelity and stability. Since then I've proven my fidelity is not a question and my stability is quite certain, even if my life circumstances have not been. My last ex made me question my own honesty. Now I realize I am and always have been honest. When not being threatened with violence. I speak the truth, even when it's not positive. Though through that, a darker side arose. I used to hold back the amount of force I would use if defending myself against someone I care about. Now if I am forced into that situation again, I will no longer hold back. Especially against anyone wielding a weapon of any form. Knife, bottle, whatever. If they're willing to do such harm to me, they better be ready to suffer those injuries.
On the other hand, I'm a lot more interested in making friends than anything else. That's been the case for years now. Just not something which is apparently accepted in NM.
In any case, I'm not hiding certain aspects of myself. Some things I express almost instantly drives away the women who look like they could be my grandmother. I also make it clear that I like intelligent and independent women, which drives away the illiterate and hyper-dependent women. I also directly reject drama up front. Unfortunately, that would exclude 99.9 percent of the women here. The rest are probably gay.
That's okay. I'm happy living alone most of the time. If I want anyone around, I want it to be the right someone. Rather do without completely than deal with things I cannot tolerate. Violence, stupidity, dishonesty, conflict, drama and complete dependency. Yuck.
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