I know at times I seem arrogant, like I never question myself. The opposite is true. I question myself all the time.
In the case of talking to or even socializing with other people, I ask myself if I am doing something wrong. Then I have to look at it more objectively. Obviously I have nobody to discuss it with openly. That's kind of the problem.
So, where my gf is concerned, I came to a realization of just how many limits are involved here. I do not get to see her in many different conditions. I cannot go over there, she cannot come over here. This happens when: she is sick, it's a weekend, when she is out of town, when she has a meeting, when she is working on a newsletter, when her husband blocks her SUV in the garage, when her husband has her SUV instead of his car, When she is getting her hair or nails done, when my daughter is here, when it's a holiday, when it is night time or when it is morning.
That's a lot of limits. I have said before that I knew what I was getting involved in and that limits would be involved. It just looks more and more like I was mistaken on the magnitude of this. The time we have had together has not really been impacted by my work schedule so far. If so, it was only a small impact. Though now she is going to start working again and that will probably affect how much time we have more than my schedule has to this point. Though my schedule may also affect it in the near future.
Leave sex completely out of the picture and what this means is extreme social isolation. While I am an introvert and that doesn't affect me as much as most people, it does still have an effect. It is not like we have an arrangement where we live together or I can see her any time I like or if she is sick. I can only observe from a distance. So, if having emotional needs of my own makes me an asshole, I guess I have to adjust to the fact that I'm an asshole.
Oh, and for the record, I had multiple previous ads up for platonic discussion. The number of replies I got, even if I contacted someone first? None. Not one reply, ever, at all. I put BDSM in the ad an the number of views, with no face pic, is ten times as many. I am far more likely to get a response, even if the person has no interest in that. But it starts a discussion. Interesting.
In the case of talking to or even socializing with other people, I ask myself if I am doing something wrong. Then I have to look at it more objectively. Obviously I have nobody to discuss it with openly. That's kind of the problem.
So, where my gf is concerned, I came to a realization of just how many limits are involved here. I do not get to see her in many different conditions. I cannot go over there, she cannot come over here. This happens when: she is sick, it's a weekend, when she is out of town, when she has a meeting, when she is working on a newsletter, when her husband blocks her SUV in the garage, when her husband has her SUV instead of his car, When she is getting her hair or nails done, when my daughter is here, when it's a holiday, when it is night time or when it is morning.
That's a lot of limits. I have said before that I knew what I was getting involved in and that limits would be involved. It just looks more and more like I was mistaken on the magnitude of this. The time we have had together has not really been impacted by my work schedule so far. If so, it was only a small impact. Though now she is going to start working again and that will probably affect how much time we have more than my schedule has to this point. Though my schedule may also affect it in the near future.
Leave sex completely out of the picture and what this means is extreme social isolation. While I am an introvert and that doesn't affect me as much as most people, it does still have an effect. It is not like we have an arrangement where we live together or I can see her any time I like or if she is sick. I can only observe from a distance. So, if having emotional needs of my own makes me an asshole, I guess I have to adjust to the fact that I'm an asshole.
Oh, and for the record, I had multiple previous ads up for platonic discussion. The number of replies I got, even if I contacted someone first? None. Not one reply, ever, at all. I put BDSM in the ad an the number of views, with no face pic, is ten times as many. I am far more likely to get a response, even if the person has no interest in that. But it starts a discussion. Interesting.
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