New year, new experiences, new commitments.
This is turning into a crazy week for me. All in good ways.
Start the new job this morning. I am excited but nervous. This is something I feel I will be really good at but it is so radically different from anything I have done before that it does make me nervous.
On the other hand, any mistakes I make will not place lives in immediate danger. Mostly I am nervous about making administrative mistakes that get me in trouble and whether I will make enough money starting off to make a living. I know I will in the long term but I have to gain some experience and build a client base. Building a client base will be slow at first. I have to get my feet under me, gain confidence and make a name for myself with the company as being competent. I have a good history of those things but ti takes a little time.
Cool thing about this job is that no small part of it cane be done at home in my sweats.
Rest of it means I have to go to people's homes and be dressed decently. Not in a suit but have to look professional. A suit may actually be detrimental. I don't want to look like a salesman. Guess business casual works best until I get a handle on my members.
Second thing is that I have agreed to be submissive at times to my gf, who has always been submissive her whole life. This will be the first time I have ever done that because I have always been dominant. For the first time it is something I am comfortable with. But she has been made by others to feel like less than she is and I want that to change. I want to give her a greater feeling of confidence in herself and trust in me on levels she has never experienced. Just as I have trust in her which I have never had for anyone else. She was not comfortable with the idea at first but after some talking last night, she is looking forward to it and so am I.
I may have created a monster here. lol! JK. I think she will be good at it and we will explore parts of each other and ourselves which neither have explored before.
Last and most important. She and I are having our commitment ceremony this week, probably Thursday. A handbinding ceremony. I had told her some weeks back that I was not comfortable at that time with it. I had to gain more confidence in where we were going before I could do that. Now I feel confident in her, in us. If I had any doubts, our conversation on New Year's settled that. We were up talking online until 4 AM that night. I take this ceremony very seriously and make this commitment with my whole heart.
For the very first time in my life I will kneel for a woman. Not because of ceremony or expectation but by willing choice. I will kneel for a woman that has openly agreed to submit to me. I will submit to my submissive.
I guess if people call me complex, I understand that now. This is something I needed at the core of my soul. Something no other woman has ever been able to comprehend but she does. And that is why I feel the way I do. Completely taken and bonded with her. On all levels.
This is turning into a crazy week for me. All in good ways.
Start the new job this morning. I am excited but nervous. This is something I feel I will be really good at but it is so radically different from anything I have done before that it does make me nervous.
On the other hand, any mistakes I make will not place lives in immediate danger. Mostly I am nervous about making administrative mistakes that get me in trouble and whether I will make enough money starting off to make a living. I know I will in the long term but I have to gain some experience and build a client base. Building a client base will be slow at first. I have to get my feet under me, gain confidence and make a name for myself with the company as being competent. I have a good history of those things but ti takes a little time.
Cool thing about this job is that no small part of it cane be done at home in my sweats.
Rest of it means I have to go to people's homes and be dressed decently. Not in a suit but have to look professional. A suit may actually be detrimental. I don't want to look like a salesman. Guess business casual works best until I get a handle on my members.
Second thing is that I have agreed to be submissive at times to my gf, who has always been submissive her whole life. This will be the first time I have ever done that because I have always been dominant. For the first time it is something I am comfortable with. But she has been made by others to feel like less than she is and I want that to change. I want to give her a greater feeling of confidence in herself and trust in me on levels she has never experienced. Just as I have trust in her which I have never had for anyone else. She was not comfortable with the idea at first but after some talking last night, she is looking forward to it and so am I.
I may have created a monster here. lol! JK. I think she will be good at it and we will explore parts of each other and ourselves which neither have explored before.
Last and most important. She and I are having our commitment ceremony this week, probably Thursday. A handbinding ceremony. I had told her some weeks back that I was not comfortable at that time with it. I had to gain more confidence in where we were going before I could do that. Now I feel confident in her, in us. If I had any doubts, our conversation on New Year's settled that. We were up talking online until 4 AM that night. I take this ceremony very seriously and make this commitment with my whole heart.
For the very first time in my life I will kneel for a woman. Not because of ceremony or expectation but by willing choice. I will kneel for a woman that has openly agreed to submit to me. I will submit to my submissive.
I guess if people call me complex, I understand that now. This is something I needed at the core of my soul. Something no other woman has ever been able to comprehend but she does. And that is why I feel the way I do. Completely taken and bonded with her. On all levels.
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