The past week or so has been really rough emotionally.
I think no small part of it is because I fell into a damaging cycle. I started drinking too much and had little or no appetite. So, for a number of days the majority of my caloric intake was actually from alcohol. Which, being mostly carbs, means I fell into a cycle of hypoglycemia, which has drastic emotional effects.
In addition, I was not taking my supplements as I should. I did take medications but know I forgot supplements a few times. So, my iron my well have been low, leaving me prone to anemia.
Got a reply from the woman I mentioned. I have come to the absolute conclusion I dodged a bullet on this. She is emotionally and possibly psychologically unstable, irresponsible and immature. So, I am much better off with her not wanting to remain friends or maintain contact. No telling how that would wind up.
Since getting my diet back to somewhat normal and reducing drinking, I am feeling much better. Regained my own emotional balance. In fact, being released from all emotional commitments has made me feel far more balanced than I have for some while. I have no more internal conflicts going on about whether I am cheating, being disloyal or unfair.
My gf has been saying she misses me and is depressed. That does make me feel bad but at the same time, I don't see any difference. She was always depressed any way. It did not start with the pandemic and kept getting worse, along with her distance and seeming apathy toward my feelings.
The gathering I had considered for tonight was cancelled. Not enough responses. I'll try again for next Wed. I'll still have it even if only guys show up. Least it would be someone to talk to that I can relate to at some level, assuming any are Dom or Sub.
Instead, tonight I picked up an extra shift. Signed up for next Tue night, also. Staffing is seriously short and the extra money will be a benefit in the long term. Not like I have anything else to do.
I think for the next schedule I am going to schedule myself off on Thur and Fri nights. Maybe, just maybe that will give me some chance at having a social life. I'm not sure. I still hate being in crowds and there's no place for karaoke here. Nah, I'll hold off on that. If I meet someone that I am interested in enough and things seem stable enough to try, I can change my schedule later.
This is what I need most of all. Stability, consistency, loyalty. Those things indicate caring. After that come affection and intimacy. Things I lacked with my gf. Thought were possible with the other one. I've really concluded that people in AL are especially unreliable and unstable. It's in the culture. They consider it normal and expected. So, if I meet anyone with those values, they are most likely to be from out of state.
I think no small part of it is because I fell into a damaging cycle. I started drinking too much and had little or no appetite. So, for a number of days the majority of my caloric intake was actually from alcohol. Which, being mostly carbs, means I fell into a cycle of hypoglycemia, which has drastic emotional effects.
In addition, I was not taking my supplements as I should. I did take medications but know I forgot supplements a few times. So, my iron my well have been low, leaving me prone to anemia.
Got a reply from the woman I mentioned. I have come to the absolute conclusion I dodged a bullet on this. She is emotionally and possibly psychologically unstable, irresponsible and immature. So, I am much better off with her not wanting to remain friends or maintain contact. No telling how that would wind up.
Since getting my diet back to somewhat normal and reducing drinking, I am feeling much better. Regained my own emotional balance. In fact, being released from all emotional commitments has made me feel far more balanced than I have for some while. I have no more internal conflicts going on about whether I am cheating, being disloyal or unfair.
My gf has been saying she misses me and is depressed. That does make me feel bad but at the same time, I don't see any difference. She was always depressed any way. It did not start with the pandemic and kept getting worse, along with her distance and seeming apathy toward my feelings.
The gathering I had considered for tonight was cancelled. Not enough responses. I'll try again for next Wed. I'll still have it even if only guys show up. Least it would be someone to talk to that I can relate to at some level, assuming any are Dom or Sub.
Instead, tonight I picked up an extra shift. Signed up for next Tue night, also. Staffing is seriously short and the extra money will be a benefit in the long term. Not like I have anything else to do.
I think for the next schedule I am going to schedule myself off on Thur and Fri nights. Maybe, just maybe that will give me some chance at having a social life. I'm not sure. I still hate being in crowds and there's no place for karaoke here. Nah, I'll hold off on that. If I meet someone that I am interested in enough and things seem stable enough to try, I can change my schedule later.
This is what I need most of all. Stability, consistency, loyalty. Those things indicate caring. After that come affection and intimacy. Things I lacked with my gf. Thought were possible with the other one. I've really concluded that people in AL are especially unreliable and unstable. It's in the culture. They consider it normal and expected. So, if I meet anyone with those values, they are most likely to be from out of state.
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