I think I'm sinking into a depressive cycle. All the evidence is there.
Not like suicidal or anything like that. Been having less interest and more easily annoyed.
I feel basically involuntarily isolated to a large degree. Not enough work this week. Which slightly dims finances in the near future. Making enough to live on but cuts that thinner than I like and not moving forward at all.
Glad I finally got hold of the company yesterday, as not reaching them last week made things worse. Hope to hear something back from them today or tomorrow, get some orientation done at other places next week.
Lack of sex and my desires ignored/discounted/whatever laves me feeling like I am merely here for my gf. Nothing about me really matters much. Feeling unattractive. Not much motivation to do anything about it at the moment. Tired of mentioning it.
Maybe my disrupted sleep schedule sparked this. I should be happy that I have a second vehicle but having an additional payment is a stress. Plus it costs more for insurance.
Still thinking of signing on for a second job. Just because it would be more secure. If I don't get enough hours at this job, can pick up more at the other. Though PRN work here works strangely. They think it comes with a commitment on your part but not on theirs.
I guess that defines everything. Seems like all the commitments I have entered into are asking of me but my needs are invalidated. Story of modern life. Story of my life.
Not much to do here. Not that I know of. I do need to get out more and explore.
Maybe doing more political writing would help but not even feeling like doing that lately. The news cycle seems dynamic to some people but honestly it's static. Stuck on the same thing day after day and that's mostly sensationalism. The real stories like the fall of the economy go suppressed, downplayed.
Oh, well. Try and get more sleep later. Maybe get to the doctor.
Not like suicidal or anything like that. Been having less interest and more easily annoyed.
I feel basically involuntarily isolated to a large degree. Not enough work this week. Which slightly dims finances in the near future. Making enough to live on but cuts that thinner than I like and not moving forward at all.
Glad I finally got hold of the company yesterday, as not reaching them last week made things worse. Hope to hear something back from them today or tomorrow, get some orientation done at other places next week.
Lack of sex and my desires ignored/discounted/whatever laves me feeling like I am merely here for my gf. Nothing about me really matters much. Feeling unattractive. Not much motivation to do anything about it at the moment. Tired of mentioning it.
Maybe my disrupted sleep schedule sparked this. I should be happy that I have a second vehicle but having an additional payment is a stress. Plus it costs more for insurance.
Still thinking of signing on for a second job. Just because it would be more secure. If I don't get enough hours at this job, can pick up more at the other. Though PRN work here works strangely. They think it comes with a commitment on your part but not on theirs.
I guess that defines everything. Seems like all the commitments I have entered into are asking of me but my needs are invalidated. Story of modern life. Story of my life.
Not much to do here. Not that I know of. I do need to get out more and explore.
Maybe doing more political writing would help but not even feeling like doing that lately. The news cycle seems dynamic to some people but honestly it's static. Stuck on the same thing day after day and that's mostly sensationalism. The real stories like the fall of the economy go suppressed, downplayed.
Oh, well. Try and get more sleep later. Maybe get to the doctor.
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