I have had insomnia very badly this week. Over and over. `One night I could not go to sleep and was awake until after 7 AM.
Because of that, I have not yet been able to stop using cannabis yet. Frustrating. Most things that have the potential to help me sleep will make my restless leg syndrome much worse in higher doses. Leaving me exhausted and drowsy but awake.
I have not figured out why antihistamines do that to me. Then again, medical science cannot explain restless leg syndrome.
It is entirely possible that the insomnia is not a bad thing but a good thing. Not in itself, of course. What it indicates.
When I was younger, I really did not sleep much. However, my overall health was much better. That changed over time as my ulcerative colitis became worse, even years before I knew I had it. I've known about the UC for about 2.5 years but had other problems including restless legs for over ten years.
As I have written, I have been taking juiced cannabis leaves with arrow root for several weeks on a consistent basis. That is showing serious improvement in my condition, which has really manifested in the past week or so. So my theory is that the improvement in my condition is causing the insomnia. Which basically means my body is healing down to the cellular level. (Yes, UC does do damage at the cellular level as well as the central nervous system.)
Another thing which is happening is my motivation is improving again. That was something which was really emotionally distressing to me because I have NEVER had a problem with motivation. Yet I have had a lack of motivation for over a year now. I considered whether that was being caused by the cannabis. That's one reason I was trying to quit. Yet, while still taking cannabis, my motivation has improved quite a bit in the last week. Jury is still out but it looks more and more like cannabis was not the problem.
I still may have to stop because I am job hunting and not sure what the current job environment is like regarding that.
At different points I also questioned whether there was something toxic in this house which was causing problems for me. Now I doubt it. It was just coincidence that my condition got worse after I moved in here and not even soon afterward. For a long time I was cutting wood, digging up bamboo roots (rhizomes), tilling the entire front and back yards, all while working. I think stress made it worse. Fought a hard battle against being foreclosed on while also being accused on multiple occasions of things I had not done on different jobs. (That's New Mexico True.) Had a number of weeks off to allow my body to recover from the stress damage now.
Got a call this morning for a job I am considering. At a plasma center. Pay less but seems like it would be low stress. My finances would be okay at what they offer. May be able to pick up occasional OT to make up the difference. Or even agency work on the side. In the meantime, I want to finish equipping the wood shop and start making things, possibly get a real home business off the ground. If not as a primary income, something I enjoy as additional income.
Have to see what transpires from here.
Because of that, I have not yet been able to stop using cannabis yet. Frustrating. Most things that have the potential to help me sleep will make my restless leg syndrome much worse in higher doses. Leaving me exhausted and drowsy but awake.
I have not figured out why antihistamines do that to me. Then again, medical science cannot explain restless leg syndrome.
It is entirely possible that the insomnia is not a bad thing but a good thing. Not in itself, of course. What it indicates.
When I was younger, I really did not sleep much. However, my overall health was much better. That changed over time as my ulcerative colitis became worse, even years before I knew I had it. I've known about the UC for about 2.5 years but had other problems including restless legs for over ten years.
As I have written, I have been taking juiced cannabis leaves with arrow root for several weeks on a consistent basis. That is showing serious improvement in my condition, which has really manifested in the past week or so. So my theory is that the improvement in my condition is causing the insomnia. Which basically means my body is healing down to the cellular level. (Yes, UC does do damage at the cellular level as well as the central nervous system.)
Another thing which is happening is my motivation is improving again. That was something which was really emotionally distressing to me because I have NEVER had a problem with motivation. Yet I have had a lack of motivation for over a year now. I considered whether that was being caused by the cannabis. That's one reason I was trying to quit. Yet, while still taking cannabis, my motivation has improved quite a bit in the last week. Jury is still out but it looks more and more like cannabis was not the problem.
I still may have to stop because I am job hunting and not sure what the current job environment is like regarding that.
At different points I also questioned whether there was something toxic in this house which was causing problems for me. Now I doubt it. It was just coincidence that my condition got worse after I moved in here and not even soon afterward. For a long time I was cutting wood, digging up bamboo roots (rhizomes), tilling the entire front and back yards, all while working. I think stress made it worse. Fought a hard battle against being foreclosed on while also being accused on multiple occasions of things I had not done on different jobs. (That's New Mexico True.) Had a number of weeks off to allow my body to recover from the stress damage now.
Got a call this morning for a job I am considering. At a plasma center. Pay less but seems like it would be low stress. My finances would be okay at what they offer. May be able to pick up occasional OT to make up the difference. Or even agency work on the side. In the meantime, I want to finish equipping the wood shop and start making things, possibly get a real home business off the ground. If not as a primary income, something I enjoy as additional income.
Have to see what transpires from here.
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